My Life As an Angel Mom and The Son I Miss More Ever Day

This will be a hard post to write. This page is a hard one to need.
Today is May 19, 2015. An average day for many. Not so to me.
9 years ago today, my only child, Bobby died…..suddenly and without warning.
My world as I new it ENDED!
I can never get it or ME back.
I will be sharing Bobby with you. In pictures. Most were lost in a fire shortly after I left Colorado.
I will be sharing memories. I am A Mom. A mom without her child here on earth. I am a mom who struggles daily to be a better person.
I will be posting things I have written over the years.
This is dedicated to my son,
Robert Lee Kasch
Sunrise July 17, 1980
Sunset May 19, 2006
I wrote this on His Facebook page years ago.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/103034783080344/ Robert Lee Kasch (Bobby) May You Rest In Peace)

What can a mom say about her only child, who was taken from this world suddenly and without warning? Bobby was almost 26 years old. He never married and didn’t have any children. He had a strong faith in God and liked helping others. He worked at The Gazette in Colorado Springs. He loved kids and his cat. His favorite people were his Aunt Donna, his cousins, his great- grandparents and the Lymings. He loved Kari. He ‘d be the first to tell you that he loved his mom most. We were really close. He’d call in the middle of the day just to have me listen to a favorite song. He called at midnight to wish me Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday. He love the Cubs and the Broncos. He loved his privacy….
He loved his MOMMA the Most.

Another Post: https://www.facebook.com/pages/In-Loving-Memory-of-Robert-Lee-KaschBobby/184711451576070?ref=bookmarks
I re-

Bobby at 3 months  This Little Boy Of Mine.
Bobby at 3 months
This Little Boy Of Mine.
Bobby and I -1 year. 1981
Bobby and I -1 year. 1981
A Mother's Day Pic for Me
A Mother’s Day Pic for Me
Bobby and I -1986
Bobby and I -1986

wrote it:

What can a mom say about her only child, who was taken from this world suddenly and without warning? BOBBY DIED FROM AN ASTHMA ATTACK. He hadn’t had a serious attack in years. YES! ASTHMA KILLS! Bobby was almost 26 years old. He never married and didn’t have any children. He had a strong faith in God and liked helping others. He worked at The Gazette in Colorado Springs. He loved kids and his cat. He love his church and youth groups. He loved the Chicago Cubs and the Denver Broncos. He loved the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band and Shania Twain. His favorite people were his Aunt Donna, his cousins, his great- grandparents and the Lymings. He loved Kari. He ‘d be the first to tell you that he loved his mom most. We were really close. He’d call in the middle of the day just to have me listen to a favorite song. He called at midnight to wish me Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday. He just call for no reason. The first thing he said when he talked to me was, “Mom, I love you!” That was also the last thing he said. …..

A LETTER FROM HEAVEN:

Letter From Heaven…

To my dearest family, some things I’d like to say,
But first of all to let you know that I arrived okay.
I’m writing this from Heaven, where I dwell with God above,
Where there are no tears or sadness, there is just eternal Love.

Please do not be unhappy, just because I’m out of sight,
Remember that I’m with you, every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you, when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me, and said, ” I welcome you”.

“It’s good to have you back again.
You were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, they’ll be here later on.
I need you here so badly as part of my big plan.
There’s so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man”.

Then God gave me a list of things he wished for me to do.
And foremost on that list of mine, is to watch and care for you.
I will be beside you, every day of the week and year,
And when you’re sad I’m standing there, to wipe away the tear.

And when you lie in bed at night, the day’s chores put to flight,
God and I are closest to you in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on Earth, and all those loving years,
Because you’re only human, there’s bound to be some tears.

One thing is for certain, though my life on Earth is over,
I am closer to you now than I ever was before.
And to my many friends, trust God knows what is best.
I am not far away from you, I’m just beyond the crest.

There are rocky roads ahead for you and many hills to climb,
Together we can do it, taking one day at a time.
It was my philosophy and please I’d like for you,
To give unto the world, so the world will give to you.

If you can help someone who’s in sorrow or in pain,
Then you can say to God at night, my day was not in vain.
And now I am contented that my life it was worthwhile,
Knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.

When you’re walking down the street and I am on your mind,
I’m walking in your footsteps, only half a step behind.
And when you feel a gentle breeze of wind upon your face,
That’s me giving you a great big hug, or just a s oft embrace.

When it’s time for you to go from that body to be free,
Remember you are not going, you are coming home to me.
I will always love you, from that place way up above,
I will be in touch again soon.
P.S. God sends his love.

I was going to share the write up I did on Bobby and The Week Of His Death And Beyond but I can’t seem to find it anywhere.
which means My mind is foggy right now. That article should be saved everywhere. Closing this for now. It is just not working for me.
More later.
Bobby, I love you. Always have. Always will.

Love Mom

Bobby, Danny and I.... Better Days In Colorado...One month before Bobby died.
Bobby, Danny and I…. Better Days In Colorado…One month before Bobby died.

28 Comments Add yours

  1. tj6james6 says:

    I can relate to your comment above about the days leading up to the actual event.
    i haven’t lost a child, I have only lost my parents but from the end of November (dad’s birthday), through Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, dad’s death in February Mom’s birthday at the end of March, death at the end of April and burial in the beginning of May I am a cranky b****. It’s the anticipation of that time that gets me, not the time itself.
    Hugs.
    I know it’s hard and time doesn’t heal all wounds but they are watching over me even now and smiling because I am coming into myself again, rediscovering some lost loves, rediscovering my faith and becoming a better me.

    Like

    1. Thank you for your visit and your comment.
      Yes, ALL of those dates are hard and we always have the next one to get passed.
      Mom’s first anniversary in Heaven is tomorrow. Very Bittersweet.
      It has been a VERY HARD year for me and I can’t even imagine how hard it has been for my dad and my sister. Dad and mom were like one person.
      Always together. Always. It is how they wanted it.
      Harder for my sister because she was with both of them a lot the past few years. I haven’t been able to be. She was there when mom died. Dad is staying with her this summer.
      Sending my love. I will visit you ASAP.
      I am in the hospital….routine stuff for my lupus and fibromyalgia. All week.
      I saved your blog to read.
      Sarah

      Like

      1. tj6james6 says:

        Hopefully all is well. Take your time reading since it’s just my little stories, some book reviews, some recipes and some of my inner musings.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. That all sounds wonderful. I love “Little Stories” and recipes. Love love books.

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Merryn says:

    So glad I found your blog via Dianne Reed. It made me so sad to see the lovely picture of you holding 1 year old Tommy and then finding out he suddenly died at 26. I am about the same age as he would be if still living (I am 35). Praying you and your husband will find comfort in God- so sorry for all the milestones Tommy missed and the words you must long to share every day. What lovely last words to hear- what a gift to have those.

    Like

    1. Merryn, What a wonderful comment you left here. Thank you first for your visit. Thank you especially for taking the time to comment. You being the same age that Bobby would be means a lot to me. I would love to visit with you some more. I will also visit your blog ASAP. Looking forward to reading what you have to say. I am in the hospital this week for routine STUFF…..So It may not be for awhile yet….I saved it on the computer so I wouldn’t forget…
      Danny and I do find comfort in God and his Blessings. We have a good life together. A very good life.
      I still can’t think you enough for this message.

      Like

      1. Merryn says:

        I’m glad to connect with you too and maybe you be comforted somehow in what you read on my blog. Underneath are the Everlasting Arms- may He always hold you close xoxo

        Like

        1. Merryn, I am hoping to really ready from your blog later tonight. Danny wants to watch a movie and I should have some free time here.
          Danny is enjoying the TV time. I have enjoyed watching him enjoy it. We like some of the sames things but I would watch more WOMEN’S Movies….He keeps asking but I have enough I want to do here. Like I said, I am enjoying watching him have fun…
          I watched more late last night /early this morning when I couldn’t sleep.
          We don’t watch much at home. Too hard unplugging and replugging the antenna from outside…..Too many storms….They seem to finally be dying down….
          Hugs Sarah

          Like

    2. What Is Dianne Reed’s Blog so I can Message her and thank her as well.
      HUgs Sarah

      Like

      1. Merryn says:

        https://dianereedwiter.wordpress.com/ “The One Thing I Know For Sure”

        Like

  3. belinda says:

    It breaks my heart to read this. I’m so glad you still consider yourself a mom. I had a friend whose son died when he was seven, and later if someone met her and asked her if she had any kids, she’d say, “I have two sons, one is (however old) and the other is in heaven.” Sadly she died of an accidental overdose (OTC meds) two months ago. I think in her heartache she may not have cared about her well-being as much. I hope you’re getting the support you need in health and heart matters. I, too, believe he is with you. because I feel his presence here in your writing. Take care, you rock!

    Like

    1. Belinda, Thank you for this post. I am sorry about your friend loosing her son and then dying herself. I feel for her other son and the rest of their family….It is a never ending cycle sometimes.
      I have some great doctors. They really have helped me a lot. They listen to me…
      I also get plenty pf support (Long Distance) from my family and close friends.
      I have a lot of angel moms and dads on Sarah Kasch Facebook…..We have shared a lot and even through I am taking a break from the everyday trying to help everyone….Actually , it is turning into a long break. I needed to get away from it. Too much grief.
      I am Good …most of the time.
      It’s been a bit hard this year since my mom died a year ago this week. It made me miss Bobby even more.
      Danny and I are in a huge rut. It doesn’t seem to bother him but I am not happy and don’t know what to do about it. He is going through things as well. Work stuff….Money problems and he won’t share. Sad thing is, I could really help if het me….
      He is distancing himself and it’s hard…… I am emotional….
      We will get through it….
      Thanks especially for your second to last sentence….He is with me , always….Laughing because I like the last comment as well.
      I am enjoying our talks. So thank you. I think you rock as well. Happy Saturday.
      ❤ Sarah

      Liked by 1 person

      1. belinda says:

        I can only imagine, too much grief. And I’m sorry you lost your mom as well. I’m guessing she was a big support.
        As for Danny men are a pain in the butt when it comes to sharing. I don’t know what it is, or why they distance themselves, or if they even realize they’re doing it. Most men I know have no idea how painful it is to the others in their lives.
        Take care of yourself. You will get through it. Bad times end. (I know the pain of losing your son won’t end, so I’m not foolish enough to refer to that.)

        Like

  4. Sara Doolittle says:

    Sarah, the letter is beautiful.

    Like

    1. Sara, Thank you. I really appreciate the comment. Have a good rest of the week.

      Like

  5. JC says:

    You have my condolences and prayers.

    Like

    1. Thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to message.

      Like

  6. May our Lord comfort you. This Memorial Day I thought of all the nation’s Gold Star Mothers who lost a child in war. I understand Bobby is with you. Mother died two and a half years ago and father and I feel her presence all the time. The psychiatrists say it is wish fulfillment and unended grieving but if you feel it you know it and they don’t know what they are talking about. Mother passed 9/17/12 and in a dream a while back said to play Cas$-3 so I played the 9-1-7 and it hit . Mother sent us $500 from heaven ! Regards…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Carl, I never saw this comment until now. Thank you for taking the time to respond. I love the $5oo.from Heaven.
      Yes, Bobby is with me ALL the time. Some days it is as if he is right here talking to me.
      I have been remembering many things from my childhood. It was such a good one. Mom is saying she loves me. Happy Sunday, Sarah.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. MeRaw says:

    So sorry you lost your son.
    Thinking of you x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. MeRaw, I don’t know how I missed seeing this. Thank you. I hope you had a good weekend. Happy Memorial Day.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. *Hugs* I do not know or understand your type of loss. I am sure that today is a very hard day for you, and please know that I am sending you all the positive energy and Love from here ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am actually having a good day. The worse for me was all the days leading up to it. I feel a contentment.
      Many people don’t believe me when I say it but Bobby is here with me. More so today.
      How are you doing ?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I believe he is with you ❤ I think it's great you're having a really good day today. 🙂
        I'm meh today…very anxious and I just want to go fill my prescriptions so I can calm down. Maybe then I would feel little better…maybe

        Like

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