Lost A Family Member Today: Grieving

Lost a family member last week BUT I found out about it seconds after I posted my last post earlier this evening. Shortly after Danny got home. So in my eyes, I lost him today.
Very unexpectedly. He was in his early 40’s.
He was not born into my family, nor I  in his.
Yet, I have called him brother for for almost 20 years.  Bobby thought of him as family. As an uncle. I am Aunt Debbie to his kids.
He and his family knew me back in Colorado in the 90’s. So he (they) knew Bobby. Loved Bobby
I lost a huge connection that way. A connection I so badly needed.
He knew Debbie Kasch . Teacher. Then DayCare/ Preschool Teacher… I had had his 3 kids in it.
He knew me as a Mom.
I was /am a close friend of his then wife….I am friends with his second wife.
Nik visited Danny and I here 2 different times.
Once while still in the RV long before we even started on the Cracker House.
The last time was last year with his new wife.
There is a room with my name on it in his house. I never got to use it.

Not posting any other information. I will later.
Sarah

75 Comments Add yours

  1. It is so easy to say I’m so sorry. How tiring it must’ve been to hear it. May sweet memories comfort you, Sarah.

    Diana

    1. Not tiring . Well, maybe a little.
      they really do. I remember every his laughter, his humor….All of it.
      Diana , Thank you for this. Have a wonderful weekend. Any plans?

      1. Aw, thanks for sharing even that with me, Sarah. And how sweet to ask about me. Just trying not to overheat and take it one day at a time (103 degrees today, in CA).

        Xx
        Diana

        1. I understand the heat. 92 here in Florida and 87 percent humidity. With 1.6 inches of rain again last night and probably 2-3 inches tonight. I wish I could send it to you .We have been above NORMAL for 7 months now. More than that actually.
          So stay cool, Diana.
          Enjoy.

  2. alfgarnet says:

    So sorry for your loss my friend , stay strong , and remember the good times , take dare , xxxxx

    1. Thank you. I am doing just that. I love my memories. I am so glad you took the time to comment. Happy Saturday…..HUGS

  3. I’ve just come here – (thank you for visiting) and saw this post mentioned; wanted to stop in – I’m so sorry for both your losses – haven’t lost any children but have lost 2 grandchildren, so think I can somewhat relate – oh, and also for your mom as well – been through that as well, as also her going first and having to watch my dad – somehow it always seems harder on them, doesn’t it…but I’m glad he’s doing well; before the year was up mine wasn’t – may God be with you, Sarah

    1. I am so sorry about your 2 grandchildren…Dad is having more trouble as next week approaches. It will be a year. May God Be with you as with Donna….My sister’s name is Donna. Dad is staying with her through the summer.
      HUGS

      1. oh, good, so he’s not by himself; glad to hear that, so what will be the exact day?

        1. Mom died August the 26th. I almost cried just now. One of those emotional moments I seem to have all the time now. Hormones and menopause have not been good to me…
          I never thought one would died leaving the other other. I grew up believing ….that they would die together. They were glad close. Always together. I still can’t see dad in my mind without mom.
          Donna, Thanks for asking.

          1. is that why your dad is with your sister? because he’s just lost by himself? I know it seemed like dad was; didn’t really expect mine to go together since dad was older but we did expect him to go first, though maybe we shouldn’t have since mom was in worse health or seemed to be; well, guess she was, obviously, huh, but seemed like dad either got worse or it showed up more once she was gone – will try to remember and get back with you on the day, if not before – I’m sure this week could be rough – remember that first year with mom – dare I say at least it wasn’t on Mother’s Day or at least that’s what it was on the actual day; of course it wasn’t the next year but that’s the way I remembered it at the time

            1. Part of the reason. The main one is he was needing to get his BALANCE and meds under control and he can’t drive in big cities very well any more. Donna is a nurse and she lives on the family farm….or what was the family farm. It’s where mom’s memorial stone and ashes are…..so that helps….Part of Bobby’s ashes are there as well. With a smaller stone. Verse stones, not ones with names and all. The rest of my son ashes were scattered on what I call Bobby’s Mountain. It’s a hilltop above the house my grandparents had built.
              Dad is doing well considering. He lives in Arizona in the winter and New Mexico in the Summer. They have an RV in New Mexico and a remodeled mobile home in Arizona.
              Or rather dad does. I still want to say Mom and Dad. They.
              I really don’t care about changing it either. It is how I will always think of them. Together. One.
              Mother’s Day is always hard for me. Bobby died just a few days after it (2006). Now mom is gone and few people seem to realize that I am still a mom.
              Hugs

              1. oh, Sarah, I’m so sorry Mother’s Day has ended up being hard for you – you’ll always be a mom – so sorry for losing your son – I remember 2006 – my son had left home/state – long story – gone to my parents, then actually gone to my oldest son’s – again, long story – but he did end up going to school up there – again, another long story – and graduating that year before he joined the Guard – again, another long story – so we were up there not long after Mother’s Day, then her birthday’s about a week later
                so is this family farm in either New Mexico or Arizona; will he be going back to one or the other – and be able to drive? is everything working out?
                the stone things sound nice – what verses do you have on them? do you have a record anywhere, since they’re done like they are? – even if it’s just online like on Find-a-Grave; think you can do a memorial even if you don’t have an actual physical grave, just to have that record; that’s so nice that he could go to your sister’s

                1. Our family farm is in Illinois. My sister and her hubby own it now….her 2 married kids and their children live near by. Her youngest son live in Chicago.
                  She visits him a lot and he comes home often.
                  My brother lives on my grandma’s family farm.
                  Sad thing is : I am the one who loves farm life the most.
                  Mom and dad RV’D all over for almost 20 years. 15 years ago they bought property in New Mexico and in Arizona.
                  They lived half the year in each.
                  Still Rving when they could in a smaller unit.
                  Dad last drove from Arizona to Illinois and back last November. His LAST long drive.
                  He still can drive short distances . Yes, he can still drive to both places out WEST. He has friends who take him to his DOCTOR’S APPOINTMENTS in the city.
                  When the time comes he plans to love in Arizona all year….of the AC can handle the heat. there. He remodeled everything recently.
                  When the time comes he will live at Donna’s.
                  Sad for me because if my health was better it would have been me he lived with.
                  At least part of the time.

                  Psalms 21
                  Yes there is a record of both of them…

                  I would love to hear any and or all of your long stories. I am a very good listener…..to everyone my husband….Sadly……I need more help there sometimes.
                  Danny name a section of property …..Bobby’s Cove …. here on Rolling Meadows Ranch. It’s mainly the a body of water from the lake.
                  Since it is not our property but the states he had to get permission from them. It is officially Bobby’s Cove.
                  <3

                  1. you care to tell where in IL the family farm is; my hub’s boss’s is there as well, in Carrollton, may not be quite the same place; I always think close to Chicago, but I think it’s actually closer to St. Louis, which makes more sense, since that’s where he was working before they basically moved them all down here but he goes back up there quite a bit; I think it’s his mom that died a while back but I think his dad still lives there – or tries – but believe he also has a sister who lives close and watches out for him; I think they all own it together.
                    How does you brother come to live on it if your sister owns it? Maybe like I never knew for years that the farm my aunt and uncle lived on didn’t belong to them, but to their daughter and her husband.
                    wow, sounds like your parents had a good time for a long time; I just got the booklet from another online friend that she did of her dad when he just passed away telling about her parents’ trips they took; wish mine had done that; well, maybe they did some, just not to that extent but guess they did have their time.
                    Sounds like they enjoyed their “retirement” time, living like so many do; mine never moved like that; couldn’t even get them to move close to me; guess they had enough moving when they were younger.
                    wow, AZ to IL; that is a long drive; I only moved about 5 hrs. from my parents but I still remember the last time they drove it; they’d always come through Nashville, the only “big” city down the interstate and still remember how nervous he was when he got here that time from that; apparently he had a lot of trouble with all the traffic, plus they had rerouted a lot of stuff, so it wasn’t the same; had to really pay attention to the signs, which was hard and seemed to cause him some problems; really scared me to think of what could have possibly happened so we rerouted them going home, with no interstates and we thought no “big” cities but forgot about one, which we hadn’t though anything about it’s sooo much smaller but even it was almost too much, so that was the last for that. So did he fly back to your sister’s this time? that’s good that he can still drive out there, though; like dad, he still drove around home for quite a while; well, he still drove really for longer than he should have, but drove okay and well for quite a while after that trip. Glad your dad has friends to take him to the doctor; turned out maybe good thing things worked out like they did with that trip because turned out he found out about a year after that he had cancer and had to start making quite a few trips couple hours away for that, which my uncle took him some but he was able to make the trip for a while or did anyway, while hub and I dealt with fil; he didn’t even tell me that whole first year, until after he passed away, then wanted me to come up and take him when he thought it was going to be all over, which it was, but he thought he wouldn’t even have to stay on is medication, which maybe he wouldn’t have but they wanted him to just as a precaution if nothing else but at least he didn’t have to make the trips like he had been.
                    So does he have doctors in both cities/states now? that is so good that he remodeled everything; my parents, I guess, the equivalent of your buying their property there, did buy another house and moved but just in the same area but to them you’d have thought it was like moving out west; it was away from the highway where’d they’d lived for years when Wal-mart moved in right across especially after – before their neighbor, who didn’t move, although they’d thought he was and did eventually, got the mailboxes moved to their side of the road after they’d widened it and put in extra turning lanes for the W-M – dad almost got run over going to get the mail or paper. But he didn’t want to take on another mortgage or spend any of his money at that point, so turned out they went from a builder-built for his own family house; you know, the best built kind, to the cheapest built house on the block so didn’t hold up but by the time it needed the remodeling done he wasn’t going to do it; we did some of the absolute essentials but…
                    at that’s good that he already has his plans made; when the time came he did talk about selling his and moving to assisted living but at that point he had a grandson that he wanted to see if he would want to live with him so he just wouldn’t have to move at all and that is what ended up happening; just wondered if that’s maybe what happened with your brother, how he’s wound up on the family farm, if he was there before taking care of your grandparents. Did I miss about your health? are you ok?
                    Psalm 21? I read it – anything in particular?
                    (I’m going to go ahead and send this; I’m never really sure what gets lost if I go trying to look up something, which I’m going to go back to some of our/your previous stuff to refresh my brain and I don’t want to have to do this all over again, if that happens, so…)

                    1. It should have been Psalms 23rd not 21. My fault.
                      My brother lives near Pana Illinois….It was my great grandparents farm on my dad’s side. Family farm number one.
                      My great aunt lived there all of her life. My dad was next up to inherit it but he already had started OUR FAMILY FARM in Grafton , Illinois…
                      My brother lived with Aunt Eleanor for years and was with her when she died. Dad transferred the title to my brother. My brother restored the old house bit by bit.
                      The family farm I usually talk about is the one MY Immediate Family had. My sister owns the majority of it now. There is a house there than my parents built in the 90’s. They only lived there for a short while. That and 20 acres are mine.
                      All paid for. I also have a small piece of property in Colorado. 5 acres.
                      Mom and dad built a small cabin there. It is in the mountains…..

                    2. sorry, that does make more sense, but I didn’t even think about it, just tried to find something out of 21 –
                      where do/did your grandparents come in with the farm? they just demolished my great-grandparents old house; they had sold the farm years ago and bought a little small place when they got older but the man who bought it didn’t live there; it was his “country house” but not sure how much he ever even went there because seems like we would get to go out there and it would just be there empty but seems like he passed away quite a while ago and it was still there, doesn’t seem like it sold again until not too long ago to the cattle ranchers in the area who only wanted the land; of course it hadn’t been kept up so wasn’t in good shape but still…plus there were stained glass windows in it but they let somebody else have them; my cousin, who her and her husband built a replica of it on their land, asked for them, but didn’t get them – they didn’t quite go buy their own for their house, imagine would have been quite expensive and they’d hoped to get those; my grandmother was the only daughter to stay in the area and she’d already moved to another town in the next country, where her parents had moved from, with her kids; she didn’t want to be in the country on the farm anymore so they didn’t have any kids to stay with them; not sure about there but know that in the little house they did have a housekeeper, might have even been a live-in and might not have been until after my great-grandmother had a stroke and was in a wheelchair, which might have been, too, until they bought the new place but..then again, that might have been why they did; my grandmother moved with my uncle while my mom had moved to town to work – though still don’t quite understand that – her aunt but on her dad’s side, who’d died – and when he did; they’d gotten their farm from his dad – he came and wanted to be paid for it then, when he’d given it to him; grandmother had to go borrow the money from her dad to pay for it – anyway her aunt lived just right down the road on those great-grandparents farm but not in the house; think they had that demolished and built a new brick one across the road – yes, the farm crossed the road – but don’t understand since that aunt had gotten mom the job since she worked at the same place why she couldn’t have just ridden into town with her, why she had to move, her mom and brother were still there then; wonder if she knew they were getting ready to move…but couldn’t she have moved in with her or wonder if she would have, if she would have quit her job and moved with her mom, hm…oh, the little moves that make big ones – oh, that would be a good one, wouldn’t it, hm…because her living in town is how she met my dad, who his dad had sold their farm while he was gone off in the war and moved to town so when he came back that’s where he’d had to go, so they both, from either end of the county out in the country had moved to town then dad couldn’t really find a job so he/they were one of those who headed up to Detroit to work, but he always said he’d come back so he did when I was born, said he wasn’t raising me up there, so we moved in with my mom’s mom in the other town but he also said he wasn’t staying there either but had to wait for the renters in the house he had already bought – on a previous stay there – to get out – while his baby sister stayed in the house his parents had bought and had gotten married and had my little cousin, then he bought us a nice house, but I spent a lot of time with mom’s brothers in the next county, who both ended up with farms; her one bought their stepdad’s from where her mom had married when she got up there, so she wound up back in the country on a farm after all but don’t think she stayed long again after he died before she moved on into town but they stayed all the way, while the brother wound up moving into the fancy subdivision in town but kept his farm and rented it out, which the one’s kids have done with both of his – the one he got from stepdad and the one he bought out of his dad’s so grew up getting to go out there too but he eventually tore that house down too but his oldest daughter and new husband moved back into his house from living out of state so it’s still there; not sure the legalities; they don’t talk to us about it but they may fix it up but doesn’t really mean anything to me; I don’t remember my grandmother ever living in it; when she married again, it was to a town guy this time and when they both died my uncle had it sold in no time to some people whose parents lived close; now he totally redid it, which I didn’t see anything that needed to be done but that’s the one I would have like to have seen; it’s where I grew up but nobody understood that. But that was nice that your dad just let your brother have the place.
                      But I’d wondered about that, with your sister having yours, but then guess that does make sense; I don’t know, maybe I was thinking sister had bought hers, while brother was just getting to live where he was but if your dad’s doing it and trying to work it all out..but, wow, your parents built a house in the 90s then didn’t stay in it long – mom and dad’s house they bought in the 90s, though, was built in 1989 – so glad, though, that you have some as well – think mom and dad might have done some things differently if some things had gone differently – but I did, in theory, anyway, get the house, no 20 acres, though, just a lot, like they always had, though somewhat hate that mom sold her part of the farm to her brother and seems like dad’s sister got their parents house so they didn’t end up with any family land but what they did have, maybe used some of the money,not sure, was paid for.
                      So you kept your property in Colorado? how long were you there?
                      your parents built a cabin on your land there in Colorado? besides what they had in AZ and NM? wow…

                    3. Carrollton is near where I grew up. A long ways from Chicago.
                      Dad has doctors in all 3 states. His legal address is Arizona.

                    4. right, closer to St. Louis, right? that’s cool – didn’t mean to imply it was close to Chicago, since you said your nephew I think lives there and visits are made few times a yr. think – do his doctors all coordinate? and how have things gone for you today?

                    5. His doctor’s are wonderful and yes they work together.
                      It’s been a really rough one. I did an update. I am ok.

                    6. His doctor’s are wonderful and yes they work together.
                      It’s been a really rough one. I did an update. I am ok.

                  2. okay, I’m back; I somewhat feel like the friend who sent me to the blogging class; she’s got so many blogs she’s found she can’t keep up with them all – why I appreciate hearing from you – but….I had to go back and look and see if I was remembering right, with you talking about your dad being in the SW – had to refresh myself about you being from out west, because was thinking I remembered, even though with your talk about Bobby, that you’re in FL now, working for the parks dept.?, something like that, right? that’s nice what Danny did for you – that’s nice that you met him but I feel like that was something, the whole move and all and somewhat leaving your dad behind, that you never expected, but he actually did it officially, not just something personal, even getting state’s permission; that is so nice – do you think you might get a sign or anything? again, just so sorry for that – can’t really imagine, not at that age anyway especially.
                    And I remember now somewhat about your health, that you’re not really able to get out and work with Danny anymore; maybe that’s why we’re both on here…:)

                    1. My dad and mom set up 2 different residences while RVING all over the West. They remodeled a mobile home…new windows….insulation etc. In Why Arizona. They stayed there during the winter months. In New Mexico, They have a Large RV. Mom always had a garden. They were there during the hot months. Mom also went to craft shows in the area.
                      So dad still has both places…..he loves Arizona more than New Mexico…..
                      I grew up in Illinois.
                      Moved to Colorado With Bobby in 1982. Bobby was 2.
                      We loved it there.
                      Danny has always lived in Florida.
                      We lived in an RV for 5 years.
                      Yes, we work for the Florida Park Service….Danny is a Park Ranger…I am or was a volunteer…..

                      He name a beautiful piece of land …a huge cove …..Bobby’s Cove after my son Bobby. This was a birthday/Christmas present to me a few years ago. He had to go through a lot of RED tape because the property is state owned and not ours.
                      He did it.
                      On most maps though the old name will be left on. I am fine with that.
                      No sign as yet….

                    2. wow, just sounds like your parents had a good time.
                      I grew up in Kentucky.
                      I guess I was wondering but don’t know if you want to talk about it about how you came to move to Colorado with Bobby when he was 2 because I did somewhat the same thing with my oldest, only to Mississippi but he never seemed to love it; he always seemed to miss my parents even though he was so young, so just wondered what might have been different in our situations.
                      Still just think that was so wonderful Danny, not just naming that piece after Bobby, but actually going through the RED tape to do it, so then don’t understand why they’re not going to change the name on the maps, but if you’re ok with that, all that matters
                      maybe they’ll get that sign, though

                    3. My parents always had a good time together. When they weren’t at one of their homes they were traveling. Visiting.
                      They even came to Florida 5 years ago.
                      They would travel in a smaller RV. Not too small.
                      I loved that time with them. We were still in the RV then,
                      The house was just sitting there…we hadn’t started the project then.

                    4. was it waiting on ya’ll or did the park people have to give their ok?

                    5. Not sure what you mean? Give their ok on what?

                    6. doing the house

                    7. I miss working with Danny here at Rolling Meadows Ranch where we live and work. This property sits between Lake Kissimmee State Park and Allen David Broussard Catfish Creek Preserve State Park (Which LKSP manages).LKSP has a little under 7,000 areas. RMR has over 8,000 …part of that is water and Catfish Creek has around 7,000 acres. We (meaning LKSP) manages all 3 properties plus a few smaller parcels of land.
                      Danny and I are the ONLY ones who live at Rolling Meadows Ranch. We live in a restored Cracker House. Staff did most of the work on it. Danny and I did a lot more than everyone else, We moved into it 4 years ago :September 1, 2011.
                      We also worked together at Lake Kissimmee State Park even more. Worked on lot’s of big projects together.
                      The heat and humidity of the summer months have kept me mainly inside the last 2 years. Health issues have been serious ;/ Lupus and Fibro.
                      I still help Danny do research.
                      I am lost not working. He is missing me ,

                    8. ah, look at your bookends – you miss him; he misses you – I’m so sorry you’ve developed? I guess? this stuff that’s been keeping you from working but that’s why you’re in the hospital now, right? having tests run about that – oh, which reminds me, that doc must be really wanting me to have mine; he doesn’t want me putting it off – yes, another month to have it at his office when they come in and do it there – oh, no, now he wants me to go somewhere else to go ahead and get it done sooner – ugh –
                      but at least you can still do research, know it’s not the same but at least it’s something; I was going to tell you about a couple other people I’d met online that both have it and that’s somewhat what they tend to do; well, one of them has and is writing a book but she has to do it for that
                      your Cracker house looks a lot like ours that we also restored; sure you’ve got stuff about that somewhere; want to try to look at it, but sounds like a really nice place to live, to get to be able to do that…

                    9. I will gladly answer everything ASAP. Danny is here and I am really tired. Hugs.
                      Keep messaging if you want to. I will answer when I can. Probably in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep.

                    10. and hopefully I will be – loved your post about your mom but was looking for an update about you; was that the update you were talking about?

                    11. No there was one that said An Update as part of the tite. Late afternoon.

                    12. Donna, you are awesome. I only thought I published it. I just did. 3:20 AM almost 12 hours later than it should have gone out. So thank you.

                    13. well, you’re welcome; now let me see if I can find it

  4. Very sorry for your loss, Sarah.

    1. Beatriz. Thank you. Hugs

  5. Marquessa says:

    So sorry for your loss!

    1. Marquessa,
      Thank you. Have a wonderful weekend. Hugs Sarah

  6. God bless you, Sarah. I was enjoying poking around your blog. It is indeed a treasure chest of fascinating little gems. I felt a little bit like I was looking for gems in a rummage or garage sale, and finding all kinds of things that I loved, and then I ran across this one… and had to stop and say how sorry I am. It’s never easy to lose someone who’s held such a special place in our hearts, but I know this must be so especially difficult with it being so unexpected and him being so young. I’m praying for you and your family (blood related and otherwise). Hang in there.

    1. Audrey, Thank you for saying what you said at the beginning. I have just revamped my blog and getting it back to more of what it was always suppose to be…A blog for me to share what I like…What inspires me. What I enjoy. Then sharing it with others, praying it would bring a smile or 2 their way.
      I had included as part of the title Our Neck Of The Woods. I am not sure why I didn’t realize when I started this blog to keep the 2 separate like they are on Facebook. I can still share some of My life In Our Neck Of The Woods….Yet, This blog IS MY ESCAPE FROM IT.
      We have a good (although, a bit tough going right now) life here. When one lives and words and spends virtually every moment there :then one has to find a way to “GET AWAY”. So I come to “The Attics” .

      Thank you also for your words of comfort.
      I am celebrating his life today. The one thing that comforted me yesterday, was that my son, Bobby was there with Nik’s parents to welcome him home. It helps know how much Bobby and Nik loved each other.
      Have a wonderful Friday. Hugs Sarah
      PS. I really enjoyed my visit to your blog. I even shared it here. Hoping you don’t mind. I went there thinking it was a food blog. I got more than I bargained for. Food for thought is much better.

      1. God bless you Sarah. And I agree, we all need an escape now an then, especially when things are hard. I really enjoyed escaping to your blog, and I’m glad mine was able to bless you as well. Hang in there! Prayers and hugs coming your way *hugs*

        1. Audrey, enjoy your weekend. Hugs. Sarah

  7. Peggy Guiler says:

    So sorry for your loss. Thinking of you. Blessings!

    1. Peggy,
      Thank you for dropping by here. God Bless you as well. Hugs. Sarah

  8. MeRaw says:

    So sorry.
    Thinking of you and sending hugs x

    1. Thank you Melanie,
      I haven’t spent much time with you lately. More hit and miss than connecting . I’ve missed our chats. How are you and your hubby? Hugs to both of you. Sarah

      1. MeRaw says:

        Hi Sarah.
        Thanks for your message, and hope your health is improving daily.
        Today is our 33rd wedding anniversary. We have spent it quietly, thinking about Frank, reflecting on past times.
        Hugs to you too xx

        1. Oh Melanie,
          What a bittersweet anniversary. Happy 33rd Anniversary to you both. You spent in the best possible way.
          Gentle hugs…..xxxxxxxx

          1. MeRaw says:

            Thank you xx

            1. I have been thinking about you both. Special days will always be hard now for you without Frank there with you. Love and hugs,

            2. I have been thinking about you both. Special days will always be hard now for you without Frank there with you. Love and hugs,

              1. MeRaw says:

                Thank you.
                Hugs to you too xx

  9. I’m so sorry, Sarah. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

    1. Thank you Becky,
      It was just a shock and because the phone lines were down I had to see it on Facebook first. They couldn’t get a hold of me.
      It’s also a lost connection. He knew Bobby and I in Colorado.
      We had a lot in common.

      Hugs

      1. Sending big hugs your way!

    2. Thank you Becky,
      It was just a shock and because the phone lines were down I had to see it on Facebook first. They couldn’t get a hold of me.
      It’s also a lost connection. He knew Bobby and I in Colorado.
      We had a lot in common.

      Hugs

      1. So sorry to hear this.

  10. shyutgal says:

    I’m so very sorry. I lost one of those type of people myself at the end of July. It’s weird isn’t it? Take care of you during this time, I tend to believe that sometimes it’s harder to lose a really close friend than it is anyone else. Can’t speak to losing a child as I never had any, I’m sure that is the most devastating… My condolences.

    1. Very sorry for your lost last month.
      Bobby of course will always be the hardest. He grew up knowing that I may not live long. I surprised everyone. Bobby’s was so sudden and no warning. I had been at his house just an hour or so before he had his asthma attack. No serious trouble in years.
      I always knew losing my parent would devastate me. I also always believed they would go together. They were just that close.
      Mom died almost a year ago and dad is left coping. Struggling.
      I never imagined him being left behind. I am glad he is still here and doing well. Yet, It is hard when I saw him with out mom there. When I call I still want to ask for her.

      I am rambling. Bringing up things which I hadn’t even planned to.
      Death does that to me.
      I understand and agree with you about it often being harder to lose a real close friend than anyone else.
      Real close friend share so much between them. Even distance doesn’t change that now.
      I enjoy our talks and look forward to them. Hugs,

  11. Gen says:

    I’m so sorry Sarah. Losing a loved one is the hardest and most painful experience in the world. I’m sending love and hugs to you and his other loved ones.

    1. Gen, Thank you. I visited with all of them today. The girls (3) are having trouble. They are all under 20. They will be alright.
      They knew their dad had been hurting for a long time . Thank you for messaging me.
      Hugs

      1. Gen says:

        It’s an unconscionable loss losing one’s parent at such a young age but you are so kind to be there for them when you’re in a world of pain too. True selflessness, and that’s something that’s sadly lacking in today’s time. Positive vibes coming your way.

        1. I only wish I could be there for them.
          I have invited them here but I need to get to feeling better first.
          We message a lot and talk on the phone when it works.
          Gen, enjoy your Sunday. Sarah

          1. Gen says:

            I think it’s great that you’re keeping in touch. Just knowing someone’s there makes a world of difference, even though you’re distraught yourself. It’s a lazy, rainy Sunday here in Cape Town – my favourite ever!

            1. A lazy rainy Sunday would be awesome if we weren’t flooding everywhere. At the moment though, it is A Beautiful Sunny Sunday Morning. As long as you stay inside. It was 75 out already this morning.
              I am not planning on doing anything I don’t have to do today. I am in need of some rest and relaxation here. I haven’t been sleeping again and I am praying that when I do go to bed in a little while, I SLEEP. My mind isn’t going 90 plus miles an hour so maybe i will be able to at least rest. Enjoy your relaxing day.

            2. A lazy rainy Sunday would be awesome if we weren’t flooding everywhere. At the moment though, it is A Beautiful Sunny Sunday Morning. As long as you stay inside. It was 75 out already this morning.
              I am not planning on doing anything I don’t have to do today. I am in need of some rest and relaxation here. I haven’t been sleeping again and I am praying that when I do go to bed in a little while, I SLEEP. My mind isn’t going 90 plus miles an hour so maybe i will be able to at least rest. Enjoy your relaxing day.

  12. So sorry for your loss. The words that got me was “he knew me as a mum.” He and Bobby can share all the great things you are doing now. Thinking of you.

    1. That’s the part I am going to miss the most. There really aren’t that many people I am in contact with any more…outside of family and a few old friends who I can talk to about Bobby. Or about my life in Colorado. All they know anymore is that Danny and I live in Florida and we work for the park service.
      I love being a wife…..I really do. But I MISS all the mom things. Or the being a grandma .
      I am good. Nik is in a better place. Bobby met him at Heaven’s gate along with Nik’s parents.
      Nelia, Thank you….I am anxious to find out what you are sending your grandkids. I loved that post.
      Hugs Sarah

  13. Sorry for your loss (hugs)

    1. Tandy, Thank you. I was just visiting you a few minutes ago. I want cheese cake. Drooling here.

  14. camelliasentry says:

    I am so sorry for your loss, Sarah. I can’t even bare the thought of losing some as close as my brother. 🙁 You are so strong, saying prayers for you and your family.
    Hugs <3 ,
    Camellia

    1. Camellia,
      I needed the hugs so thank you. He was one of the few people in my life that knew Bobby (my son ) and I back when things were good in Colorado and who got to know me again in Florida as Danny’s Wife. My whole life is different and he has seen it all. I don’t know if I explained it very well.
      No one here in Florida ever met Bobby besides Danny. So they never see me as a mom. It makes it hard for me sometimes.
      Hugs Sarah

  15. Maddie, Yes, I will be. He suffered a lot this past year. He is better off where he is. His family and his wife said it first. I was just shocked when I found out. Thank you for messaging.
    Right before I heard I was getting ready to do a post that i think you would like. I will do it soon. Hugs my new friend. S

  16. Hello Sarah, so sorry to hear of yet another loss in your life. You will get through this.

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