Sarah /Our Home/Our Life

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I started my challenge on Wednesday, October the first. I saw no reason to wait another week.
I had an old candle (A cracked at the top one that still smells awesome) and lit that one shortly before Danny got home. He has been working mainly Late Field Or 13 hours Open to Close. Because of fire safely and having fans all over the house  I only leave it lit if I am going to be in the room. (When you lose not 1 but 2 houses in a fire you really think before doing something with FIRE and CANDLES…no matter how much I love  them, They are a FIRE HAZARD.)

My Candle- Pumpkin Spice
My Candle- Pumpkin Spice

From Last Year.

Cracked at the top But it is the only large one I have and I can't really afford to get a new one.
Cracked at the top But it is the only large one I have and I can’t really afford to get a new one.
Sunday Night
Sunday Night

It looks good on the counter all lit up and it smells wonderful. Candles have always made me feel better and I wish I had a house full of them like I use to. Even Bobby had candles all over his apartment.
Our challenge for Week One  was to buy a large candle and light it sometime when your family would be in the kitchen.
Every time we walk into the kitchen we are suppose to say a prayer.
The candle is a reminder to me when I walk into the kitchen all day long.
To be honest, I pray all day long all over the house.
Have I let Danny know what the candle is for?
No.
He is use to me having a candle going at times.
I also haven’t mentioned the Challenge to him at all.
We don’t talk about the blog or anything I do on it. At least He never asks and I seldom, mention anything. I tried to but he never seemed interested.
(That is something we are dealing with in Counseling…his lack of Interest in anything I do. We haven’t gotten very far. )
The challenge to me is just to make our days, afternoons and evenings more PLEASANT. More carefree. They have been BORING to me because Danny talks about WORK. The park…We talk about WORK. The Park…..
Which is OK ….
Just NOT all the time.
When Danny isn’t talking about the park he is talking about HIS PAST.
I want to TALK ABOUT US…..NOW. THE FUTURE.
BOBBY. MY FAMILY. Sarah’s Attic Of Treasures.

I got a Package in The Mail today. Danny brought it home with him. We get our mail at the Ranger Station.  I will post  ALL THE DETAILS about it ASAP.

This Is what was in the box.
This Is what was in the box.


It was wonderful.

Chai Latte ,Biscotti, a beautiful Mug with a Bible passage on it and a new autographed book. Danny knows how much I love everything I got. I have been OUT of Chai LATTE for months. He knows I crave them.
Chai Latte ,Biscotti, a beautiful Mug with a Bible passage on it and a new autographed book.
Danny knows how much I love everything I got.
I have been OUT of Chai LATTE for months. He knows I crave them.

I cried while I opened.

For Sarah. Grace and Peace
For Sarah. Grace and Peace


Danny never asked me where I got it …how I got it. Nothing. Yet, he was very INTERESTED in IT and MY REACTION
It was the first gift I have gotten in over a year.
Except for when MY DAD PAID FOR MY TRIP HOME FOR MOM’S MEMORIAL.
I DIDN’T GET a Christmas Gift (Mom always took care of it) last year. Danny hasn’t bought me a gift in years.
So YES I CRIED. 

Sunday Night right before Danny got home. Check out the clock.
Sunday Night right before Danny got home. Check out the clock.

I ran out of steam and didn’t get everything done that I wanted to. The dishes were washed but not put away. I put them away after Danny had been home for awhile.

The candle was lit about 20 minutes before he got home. You could also smell our dinner.
The candle was lit about 20 minutes before he got home.
You could also smell our dinner.
The back porch light is left on for him.
The back porch light is left on for him.

SAMSUNG

His tea was ready for him.
His tea was ready for him.
Sorry, Not a good photo. Wine glasses chilled.
Sorry, Not a good photo. Wine glasses chilled.
His wine well chilled.
His wine well chilled
Hair Down but my smile wasn't quite there yet.
Hair Down but my smile wasn’t quite there yet.
My hair remains up until he is home. (I shed)
My hair remains up until he is home. (I shed)
Vittles
Vittles
Mr. Bojangles gets excited when I say
Mr. Bojangles gets excited when I say”Grandpa’s home”
Danny is pulling in.
Danny is pulling in.
Week 2 Starts this Wednesday . Relaxing Back ground music has been playing up until Danny get's home. I turn it off before he walks in the door. Then I turn it on again when I am in the kitchen and he is still at the table. Danny likes This CD but hasn't asked me why I am playing it.
Week 2 Starts this Wednesday .  Music is the Topic. I started early. Relaxing Back ground music has been playing up until Danny get’s home. I turn it off before he walks in the door. Then I turn it on again when I am in the kitchen and he is still at the table.
Danny likes This CD but hasn’t asked me why I am playing it.
The Kitchen Table
The Kitchen Table Before Danny got home.

Snacks . We are limited since we haven’t been to the store for our monthly groceries.

“Making Your Home a Haven” challenge isn’t all about cleaning, working, or to-do lists. It’s about having a spirit-filled heart and loving our families, Or In My CASE Danny ,enough that we strive to make ourselves and our homes a welcoming, joyful, and peaceful haven to them/him. 

Making your home a haven isn’t really about having the cleanest house, the nicest decor, or even an empty laundry hamper (although the empty hamper sure is nice!).

A home that feels like a haven to your family is a home where you have a peaceful heart and patience. It’s a home where getting everything crossed off the list isn’t nearly as important as simply having a joyful, creative, relationship-filled day (versus simply a “chore-filled” day).
So what Am I really doing to make my home a HAVEN?

I have been working ON MY ATTITUDE.

It has needed a HUGE ADJUSTMENT.
I have been so angry and hurt and tired of the way I was being treated. The lack of kindness was getting to me.
I keep expecting Danny to be a certain way. More like he used to be.
Yet, I haven’t been the MOST PLEASANT PERSON this summer.
I was a lot better than the last couple of summers. I didn’t allow the depression to get me down as bad as it had before. Even my bad health really didn’t keep me down for long.
Yet, I still was NOT HAPPY.
I POUTED way too much.
I opened my MOUTH WAY TOO MUCH when IT NEEDED TO STAY CLOSED.
Lot’s of little things I needed to change.
Danny’s mood is usually the same. He hasn’t been happy but he he hasn’t been down.
Not like I have been.
Work is getting to both of us.

I am taking better care of the house.
I am limited and for months NOTHING WAS GETTING DONE.
SO NOW EVERYTHING NEEDS AN OVERALL.
So I am working on it bit by bit all day long.
Mainly in the kitchen. The rest of the house is OK.

The Living Room
The Living Room
The Den
The Den

Mr Bojangles is INTERESTED in my Box.

 

Dishes are getting done more often. Putting them away still takes some doing sometimes.
Dishes are getting done more often.
Putting them away still takes some doing sometimes.
I keep my counters less cluttered. I WILL NEVER EVER HAVE THE CLUTTER FREE. It is not IN ME. I like clutter in certain places.
I keep my counters less cluttered. I WILL NEVER EVER HAVE THE CLUTTER FREE. It is not IN ME. I like clutter in certain places.
I keep the table clean and cleared all the time when Danny is NOT there
I keep the table clean and cleared all the time when Danny is NOT there
I never said a word about Danny forgetting OUR ANNIVERSARY SATURDAY, I am sure I would have had someone not have reminded him of it when he got to work. He said Happy ANNIVERSARY over the RADIO. Where EVERYONE COULD HEAR HIM.
I never said a word about Danny forgetting OUR ANNIVERSARY SATURDAY,
I am sure I would have had someone not have reminded him of it when he got to work.
He said Happy ANNIVERSARY over the RADIO. Where EVERYONE COULD HEAR HIM.

He felt bad that he had forgotten.
He’s been working 7-9 days straight and often 13 hours a day.
Minimal Overtime.

I would dress up a bit more for him if I had clothes that fit and were comfortable. So I wear my jogging pants and a nicer  T-shirt.
For special occasions like our anniversary I put on my one pair of blue jeans and a nice shirt.
I almost always take a shower within an hour or 2 of his coming home. Or in some cases just minutes before .
I just like to be clean smelling since I get so hot with my hot flashes.
None of what I am doing is really new or drastic.
I just make more of an effort to be happy. To smile.
Dinners have always been good but now I try and make the plate look better when I serve it.
Although by the time he eats he is ready for bed and won’t even notice. I notice though.
It is as much a mind thing for me as anything.

13 Comments Add yours

  1. Reblogged this on Sarah's Attic Of Treasures and commented:

    From Last year. Lots of photos from Our House. Things are much better between us this year.

  2. Sarah I’m here! Reading this and I have to say this to you dear friend: you are such an awesome lady! This is such a personal blog post. I loved scrolling through the phortos of your home. Everything looks lovely. I really wish I lived nearer! I would come visit often and sit with you and chat with you. I would also bring the biggest candle in the store with me. Just for you! Big hugs xx

    1. Oh Rob, I wold truly love that. Both the living near me and the candle. I really could use a friend here. I have none.
      My choice for awhile. HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

    2. If you get a chance..read my Day one in the #Love me Challenge….
      I really let it OUT
      I may take it down .

      1. Will do so now!

  3. Tracey Rains says:

    What a brave and personal post! I’ve been feeling down myself lately, and you’re right: we have to take responsibility for our own happiness. Reading this today, I realized how much I’ve been raised on guilt. With Carl out of work right now, I have been working all. the. time. It’s not strictly necessary, but I just flew into a panic, I guess, and your post here has reminded me that the most important thing is to be happy because if we’re not happy, what else really matters?

  4. Heather says:

    I agree with them up there. And the library, yes! I haven’t bought a book in such a long time. The quiet, the smell of real paper books, the discovery of something unread. I could live in a library.

  5. You definitely have to talk about the future. Because that’s where you make the plans to make it brighter. And I agree with the above commentor, throw away the guilt. It has no room in your ever growing life. Now I need to go buy a pumpkin spice candle as well lol.

    Kia / KTS
    http://www.houseofkts.com

    1. Kia, We use to dream TOGETHER. I miss that. It will work itself out but it hurts now.
      Not sure where the Guilt is coming from. I never use to be like this.
      Kia, Thank you for your support.
      Enjoy your candle.

  6. Take care of yourself, Sarah, and focus on what makes you happy. Give yourself that gift rather than wait for Danny to give it to you. Light candles for you, listen to music for you, prepare meals you enjoy, mail yourself chocolates and chai, read books that fill you with peace, pamper yourself with love. <3

    1. D, Actually I am doing more and more of it. I often make 2 different dinners, one for him one for me. I am trying to eat healthier. I get to listen to music I want to all day. We very seldom listen to anything at night unless it is in our separate places on our computers.
      I like the mail my self some chocolates and chai….I plan on at least buying some chai at the store when we go shopping. I realized yesterday as I opened that gift how needy I am for things like that.
      I work so hard at saving money that I never really enjoy anything. I feel guilty when I treat myself to something. Not sure why I do.
      Danny never questions what I get.
      You are right though….I do need to keep focused on what makes me happy….I really am getting there.
      The package was a blessing and an eye opener.
      I do miss having good books to read…not reading on line.
      A lot of what I want we really can’t afford.
      I never thought about how much I use to spend when I was teaching : On books and music and tea etc.
      I never had to worry about money before.
      My insurance was better then and paid more of my medical expenses.
      Thank you for your comments. I do take them to heart.
      Love Sarah

      1. Oh dear, toss out that guilt for treating yourself. You are worth it 🙂 And, of course, I don’t mean a trip to Paris! But a trip to the library, your favorite tea, a bottle of scented oil for after baths, write yourself a love letter from you, pick a couple flowers for your kitchen windowsill… self care is more about intention than anything else. My best wishes and hugs to you.

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