I never had the Mom RUT but I sure have The Rut Of Now What? No kids around. Bobby is in Heaven. My Family is Miles AWAY.
I am not teaching any more and not able to volunteer as much at the park where we live and hubby works. Everything is HARD.
I miss Motherhood. I thrived on it.
I miss being ACTIVE. I am doing better…A lot better health- wise. My ankle is better at times. I even made it up to the Entrance Gate Yesterday. A mile up and A LONG HARD MILE BACK.
It use to be so easy.
I work hard at staying UPBEAT.
It is getting harder. All summer I kept thinking the depression would lesson when It cooled off. Well, except for a few days…Summer is still here. It is still wet and damp.
But, even when the days are nice ..I am Not snapping out of it.
I have good moments. Yesterday, I had a few HOURS of Happiness when Danny and I were outside and having an unexpected ride through Rolling Meadows Ranch.
Then we headed home and I wanted to cry.
I know this will pass.
I was doing good when the blog was new. I thrive on it. Then the internet got worse and is off more than not. Verizon is being SOLD and they don’t care about any of us here.
I was starting to make money and seeing our way out of this hole we are in.
I was so CLOSE.
Praying here as I always do. I know things will get better.
“Mama, are we going to do school today?” Those words, simple, tore into my heart and made me go to the bathroom and sob. I was failing. To be honest, we had not had school all week – and it was Wednesday. We had “reviewed” by listening to educational songs. We watched a few educational …
Source: The Rut of Motherhood