Posted in Sarah's Attic Of Treasures

About ME – Sarah’s Attic of Treasures Facebook. January 2013

I still get asked on occasion about the Debbie / Sarah name….Mainly because on my emails I am listed as Debbie Sarah.
This is a picture of Bobby, Danny and I taken in April 2006. (Easter Weekend- Manitou Springs, Colorado…One month before Bobby died. )
I was Bobby’s Mom and Danny’s Sarah.
It was Bobby who told Danny that my best friend called me Sarah when they first met. It is because of Bobby I am called Sarah.
Why? I never asked. I never once asked Bobby why he told Danny to call me Sarah when I was Debbie to family. He always introduced me as “His Mom , Debbie”. Always.
Danny Never calls Me Debbie. Ever. With one exception. Our WEDDING DAY. Our Vows.
danny and sarah 002
Danny and I : Our First Thanksgiving together in Florida.
I had just left Colorado. Everything was put in storage from OUR HOME, Bobby’s and Mine, as well as everything from Bobby’s Apartment. Bobby had gone to Heaven 6 months before. It was our ONLY Thanksgiving in the HOUSE Danny’s Dad built. We sold it to buy our RV and START over.
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Hell Week as I call it. The week that Bobby died. Danny and I, My mom and Dad and my sister Donna.

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Danny and I . Together. Strong .

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Easter Weekend at the park a few years later. Sarah. Volunteer. Danny’s Wife.

My Name. Is it Sarah or Debbie?

My name. Sarah or Debbie? If you ask my mom, She will say Debbie.
If you ask Danny or anyone here in Florida, I am definitely Sarah.
I even had the pastor include the name, Sarah, along with Debra Sue, in our wedding ceremony.
If you would have asked Bobby: All of his life, except for one time, he introduced me as Debbie, his mom. The one exception, when he met Danny. For some unknown reason, when he met Danny, Bobby told him to call me Sarah. He met Danny here in Florida on vacation. They got to be good friends even though Danny was my age. (Well, 4 years YOUNGER). So Danny has ALWAYS called me Sarah. ALWAYS. I am never Debbie to him. Not teasingly, not in anger, not at all.
I am Debra Sue Kasch. That is the name I was born with. I love the name and am very proud of it. I kept the Kasch for most things after I married Danny. At Danny’s request. The Kasch name died with Bobby. Or at least our link to the Kasch name died. So in honor of Bobby. In honor of my father, grandfather and all the Kasch’s before I still use Kasch except for legal stuff etc.  As a child, I was called Debbie, Debbie Sue, Or Deb. My family and close family friends  still am called that.
Classmate call me both. Growing up there were so many Debra’s, Deborah’s, Debbie and Debbie Sue’s. In high School there were over 20 of us. One day in fun, my best friend, Dan (different one of course) jokingly asked me what I wanted my first child to be named if it was a girl. I said Sarah Elizabeth.  Or Rebecca Lee. So he started Calling me Sarah.
It caught on quickly and before I knew it I was being called Sarah by almost everyone I came in contact with. It just clicked with everyone.
I will never forget the look on my mom’s face when Dan was visiting us and he called me Sarah for the first time, in her hearing. OUCH!
She is never quiet if she has an opinion. Mom had one and let it be known that I was NOT SARAH but Debra Sue or Debbie . You get the picture?
I can still hear her say that. I remember my sister calling me that once. Another OUCH. That’s how I always thought of Mom’s words. OUCH. Like a burn. For the most part, no one called me Sarah, around my mom for many years…. To Dan’s wife and kids I was called both. Interchanging. Aunt Debbie. Aunt Sarah. Still Am. When I got on FB, It was 3 years after Bobby died.  My personal site was Debbie-Sarah Kasch. I still have that one.  I needed both names so people could find me.
When I met the Angel Mom’s I was Bobby’s MOM Debbie…….. Yet, here in Florida, I am Sarah.
They never knew Bobby.
Yes, It is confusing at times.
I was quieter then and didn’t post much. Imagine that? I certainly didn’t share myself or Danny to the world like I do now. I didn’t want to share Bobby with everyone. SO I stayed quiet for awhile. I reconnected with my classmates from High School. I added friends I’d known all my life. I added my friends here in Florida. Some continued to call me Debbie. Others called me Sarah. It took a few people awhile to realize I went by 2 different names. They thought I was 2 different people. I started getting questions. The angel moms for the most part are the ones who went from calling me Debbie, to Sarah, when I started sharing Our life here. When I started sharing Our Neck Of The Woods, (A page just for the Lake Kissimmee State Park, Rolling Meadows and life in Florida. History. Our Life), they started calling me Sarah more and more. I called myself Sarah. I can’t explain it better than that. I answer to either.
The name I miss most is MOM.
I never get called that any more. At least not very often. When I do it’s Dan’s kids or an old friend of Bobby’s.
Now about the pages:
Sarah’s Attic of Treasures and  Debbie’s Attic of Treasures are the same except for the name. Exactly.
I have Our Neck of the Woods about Danny and I and our Park Life.
I have Sarah’s Life: What Was . Was is . What Will be. It’s about  Life in Illinois, Colorado. Bobby, Danny and I.  Mainly Bobby and I. It’s very small. Mainly for me.

I have Bobby’s Memorials. I also have a page called Getting To Know My Friends Through Our Children. It’s a page for grieving parents, grandparents. Etc.
Sarah Sue is the account I use for Sarah’s Attic Of Treasures and all of my pages, except The memorials.
It’s a fun account. It’s where I like to hide.

 

Sorry about the bad copy. It is all I have. Bobby and I at my grandparent’s house….Colorado…1985.
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My family. Mom and Dad. Donna and John. Bobby and I. 1998.
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Bobby and I  Christmas 1991.

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Donna, Bobby and I Colorado. 2000. I love Bobby’s Smile here.

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Danny and I dancing . 2008?
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I had just won Volunteer Of The Year. 2008

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My all time favorite photo. My 2 loves.

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Source: Re posting from Sarah’s Attic of Treasures Facebook. January 2013

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Author:

My real name is Debra (Debbie Sue). Sarah is a nickname given to me in high school. My husband has always called me that so here in Florida It's all I am known by. I was born and raised in Illinois. My son and I moved to Colorado in 1982. I taught school for 17 years. Then I ran a homeschooling/preschool/daycare until 2006 when I moved to Florida after my son, Bobby died suddenly. He was almost 26. Danny and I live and work at a state park here. I miss the mountains and climate of Colorado. I miss snow and the four seasons. I miss Bobby.

19 thoughts on “About ME – Sarah’s Attic of Treasures Facebook. January 2013

      1. Sarah…your loss is as big as the highest mountain and as deep as the deepest part of the ocean, and as wide as the universe. You still push yourself towards a positive light everyday. Life is about how we cope with the pain we are given; and this pain you are coping with is immense. May you keep getting the strength. Yaz.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Yaz, You are one of the FEW that actually “Get It”. Most people…..Family friends who KNEW BOBBY AND I don’t understand that it is a permanent LOSS. A HOLE that can never be fixed. A close friend. Closer than my brother has told me that I need to let go. That It isn’t good to grieve. I tried to explain that I will always grieve. Not as openly but every minute of every day there is something in me that can not be fixed. Most days it is NOT a conscious thought. Most days it is as if Bobby is in Colorado and I am here. Not quite that way but close.
          Everyone else gets to talk about their kids. I need to talk about Bobby in the same way. They can talk all day about the bad parts. I am lucky. Bobby and I never really had those bad times.
          I fight every day with the lupus and fibro. The least I can do is fight to keep the grief manageable .

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          1. Sarah, It is easy for people (family and friends included) to say to let go. I think they do not want to engage in a discussion that drains their emotions. They may be drained by their own challenging situation(s). Seeing you grieve probably makes them not relax and enjoy in your company. I am only saying all this because I feel that a lot of people want you to know they understand your loss, but they don’t really want to FEEL the loss. Pain is hard. Pain is painful. My dad use to say that a pain hurts no matter how big or small. A paper cut gives a severe pain, but heals. Loss of child or loss of sight…is a continuous pain. It cannot heal, but you learn each day to cope with it. You try to live a normal life as much as you can. You laugh, eat, enjoy life in a different way. In a way where you are always in touch with your loss.
            You have physical ailments and those are not easy at all. Hope those are under control. You are a kind soul. One day at a time…being grateful for the beautiful life you enjoyed with your son. It’s always embraced in your heart. May you feel love and warmth from it.

            Liked by 1 person

                    1. Lower half meaning Orlando and below. I was joking about it being its own country.
                      It just doesn’t FIT anywhere.
                      I don’t feel like I am in the South. GEORGIA AND TENNESSEE ARE SOUTH. Laughing …..Miami is more Spanish Speaking at the airport than English.

                      Liked by 1 person

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