Chasing Blue Skies :
Crying Over Inanimate Objects.
May is an emotional month for many of us.
Winter to Spring.
In my case:
Spring to Summer.
In many parts of our country,
winter hit hard this year and doesn’t want to leave.
People of all ages are needing the warmer days filled with sunshine and fresh air.
I live in Florida.
Even the natives who thrive on hot days are becoming weary of them. Weary of the hot days that never seem to let up. Longing for the sunshine because we have had too much rain. Yet, knowing the sunshine will only make it hotter inside and out.
Weary of the pollen that covers everything
In a coat of green.
Off the ragweed.
I have been fighting the fear of summer time for 12 years now.
I have only lived here for 10 of those years. For almost 2 years I knew I would be leaving Colorado and coming here: to Florida. For love.
Love is the only reason I stay.
May also means Mother’s Day.
Missing my mom.
Missing my son.
May means Bobby Angel Day and He’ll Week.
For many, May means Graduations and end of the school year. Endings and new beginnings.
For me it means another year I wasn’t able to teach.
May scares me because I know what follows.
Endless days of Summer.
I am finding it harder than ever to stay cool.
Every day I force a smile on my face.
Reading this you may think I am sad all the time.
I am. Deep down. There are huge parts of me that are heavy.
With left over dreams and hopes.
My age has never bothered me Feeling old does.
I feel old today.
I felt ancient yesterday.
I couldn’t get out of bed.
Today, I feel old. In my heart and through my body.
Tomorrow, I pray will be a better day.
I pray the blackness will leave.
I DIDN’T START OUT: to write all that I wrote.
The feelings were just there.
I need to cry.
Crying releases me.
I haven’t been able to cry.
Overall, I am good.
I’ve been positive when I have had to be. I am getting things done.
It never used to be this hard.
Danny and I are good.
Yet it is May and May Is hard.
What month is hardest for you?