If You Find Yourself Crying Over Inanimate Objects – Chasing Blue Skies

http://chasingblueskies.net/crying-over-inanimate-objects/

Chasing Blue Skies :
Crying Over Inanimate Objects.

image

From Sarah.
May is an emotional month for many of us.
Winter to Spring.
In my case:
Spring to Summer.
In many parts of our country,
winter hit hard this year and doesn’t want to leave.
People of all ages are needing the warmer days filled with sunshine and fresh air.
I live in Florida.
Even the natives who thrive on hot days are becoming weary of them. Weary of the hot days that never seem to let up. Longing for the sunshine because we have had too much rain. Yet, knowing the sunshine will only make it hotter inside and out.
Weary of the pollen that covers everything
In a coat of green.
Off the ragweed.
I have been fighting the fear of summer time for 12 years now.
I have only lived here for 10 of those years. For almost 2 years I  knew I would be leaving Colorado and coming here: to Florida. For love.
Love is the only reason I stay.
May also means Mother’s Day.
Missing my mom.
Missing my son.
Missing me.
May means Bobby Angel Day and He’ll Week.
For many, May means Graduations and end of the school year. Endings and new beginnings.
For me it means another year I wasn’t able to teach.
May scares me because I know what follows.
Endless days of Summer.

image

I am finding it harder than ever to stay cool.

image

Every day I force a smile on my face.

image

image

Reading this you may think I am sad all the time.
Unhappy.
I am. Deep down. There are huge parts of me that are heavy.
With left over dreams and hopes.
My age has never bothered me Feeling old does.
I feel old today.
I felt ancient yesterday.
I couldn’t get out of bed.
Today,  I feel old. In my heart and through my body.
Tomorrow, I pray will be a better day.
I pray the blackness will leave.

I DIDN’T START OUT: to write all that I wrote.
The feelings were just there.
I need to cry.
Crying releases me.
I haven’t been able to cry.
Overall, I am good.
I’ve been positive when I have had to be. I am getting things done.
Slowly.
Spring cleaning.
It never used to be this hard.
Danny and I are good.
Yet it is May and May Is hard.

image

Love Sarah

P.S.
What month is hardest for you?

GENTLE HUGS

5 Comments Add yours

  1. Krista Kemp says:

    I wish I could take the pain and the struggle from you! My love is with you, and I send hugs your way sweet Sarah!

  2. Judy says:

    May is hard for me, too. My deceased son was born in May. The seasons deeply affect me because of this. My heart goes out to you.

    1. Judy,
      Not feeling well today so I won’t be able to write everything I want to.
      I would love to hear all about your son. Anytime. What day was he born? Name? Age? Whatever you feel up to sharing.

      1. Judy says:

        I’m so sorry you’re not feeling well. No pressure to write or worries. I just hope you feel better soon. I love to share about my son and my optimism about healing. Music later in my life allowed me to find peace surrounding his death. Thinking of you!

        1. I plan on catching up with my emails. Looking forward to reading about him. Hugs.

Leave a Reply