**GRIEF TIP #5 ** (see other Grief Tips on our page)
“What if the person you are attempting to comfort, said to you that they lost their kid in a car crash that involved a drunk driver? When you tried to comfort them, you immediately replied ‘I know how you feel’ followed by, sharing that your neighbor’s cousin, lost her kid in a car crash involving a drunk driver too. Did you just attempt to comfort them, saying ‘I know how you feel’ and followed, with THAT story? Did you think that was comforting? Allow me to educate you as we review the facts.
Did you lose sleep when your neighbor’s cousin’s loss occurred? Were you incapable of digesting food, after learning of that death? Did you cry so hard, that you actually lost your vision? Did you lose your will to live? Did you entertain wanting to end your OWN life, when your neighbor’s cousin’s kid died? NO. You did not. That is not what YOU felt, AT ALL. So YOU are NOT feeling, AT ALL, what the person you are attempting to comfort is feeling. All that you just did, in your efforts to minimize her pain, was told this devastated, crushed, suicidal mother OF A DEAD PERSON YOU KNOW. You told her of another departed individual that made you feel absolutely NONE of what SHE IS FEELING. You only shared your familiarity, of a story which has infinitesimal similarities, of what her melted heart, was barely able to mouth to you, while she was seeking some relief, from her situation. Can you see that now?