Making My Home A Haven is important to me. Sharing homemaking skills. Recipes and food. Bible Studies. This is a treasure chest of goodies. So take a seat. Have a glass of tea and enjoy. You will learn all about who I am.
I had the most wonderful dream last night. Then I woke up and realized ONCE AGAIN THAT IT WAS ONLY A DREAM. Reality set in all too soon. Bobby was gone.
I live for those dreams , Yet , at the same time I dead them. For a BRIEF MOMENT when I wake up, Bobby is ALIVE again. All Is well again. FOR THAT MOMENT. Then it all changes as I once again face the fact that he died years ago. The SADNESS is there is full force. The GRIEF of the past is as strong as ever. Those feelings linger throughout the day. Never really going away. A reminder that the past was really better. Life has gone on and it’s been a good one for the most part. Whoever said “It Only Hurts For A Little While”wasn’t talking about the death of a child.
I wrote the following years ago when I started a group for Bobby on Facebook.
”
Robert Lee Kasch Born in Alton, Illinois on July 17, 1980 to Debra Sue Kasch. He died at his home in Colorado Springs, Colorado on May 19,2006. He was 25 years old. Sunrise to Sunset- Not long enough.
What can a mom say about her only child, who was taken from this world suddenly and without warning? BOBBY DIED FROM AN ASTHMA ATTACK. He hadn’t had a serious attack in years. YES! ASTHMA KILLS! Bobby was almost 26 years old. He never married and didn’t have any children. He had a strong faith in God and liked helping others. He worked at The Gazette in Colorado Springs. He loved kids and his cat. He love his church and youth groups. He loved the Chicago Cubs and the Denver Broncos. He loved the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band and Shania Twain. His favorite people were his Aunt Donna, his cousins, his great- grandparents and the Lymings. He loved Kari. He ‘d be the first to tell you that he loved his mom most. We were really close. He’d call in the middle of the day just to have me listen to a favorite song. He called at midnight to wish me Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday. He just call for no reason. The first thing he said when he talked to me was, “Mom,I love you!” That was also the last thing he said. …..”
Tyler, Michael, Donna, Kari, Bobby and I. Colorado 2014
Bobby and Danny,
On Top Of Pike’s Peak,
Colorado 2016
3 months old
1980
Bobby and I
1992
Illinois
Hell Week: The Week following Bobby’s Death.
Colorado
Mom and Dad
Donna
Danny and I
I post photos of me all the time. Selfies of me working or just sitting in my recliner. I post pics of Danny and I. I have never minded being photographed until the last 2 years when I started to gain weight – a lot of it.
I do wish I had more photos of Danny and I in the last 2 years.
There was one time though when a photo of me went VIRAL all over Facebook and on the internet.
It was meant as a gift but before I even saw it, thousand of others had and had SHARED it ALL OVER.
At first I was stunned. Then I felt invaded. Stripped.
I wasn’t sharing my life on a blog as I do now. I was still in the first stages of grief.
After awhile…..After I calmed down. I saw what they saw. A women who looked happy on the surface but whose eyes told a different story.
Most of the people who shared it never even realized that it was a personal photo and hadn’t be intended for anyone but me to see.
What is the picture in question:
Behind My Smile
The Story Behind the photo.
Danny and I had been busy all week at the park. It was Spring Break and we were Filled to Overflowing.
We were tired but happy.
This took place on a Sunday Afternoon.
We had interacted with campers all week.
visiting with them while working. Seeing them while we clean bathhouses and filled toilet paper.
We’d answered questions and gave directions.
We were also needing a break.
Danny and I were checking on the campground around noon or a little after.
We got stopped and a guy we had talked to asked us if we could help them with their electric.
Of course we did.
I was excited because they were with a huge group and one of them had a TINY HOME.
I’d been eyeing it all weekend. So had Danny.
Danny went to work on the electric and I asked of I could get a little closer look at the house.
I not only got a closer look but we got a tour of it,
This is the original photo.
It took awhile for me to realize that it was actually an honor for me to be in such a photo that thousands of people connected with.
May 19, 2015: 9 years ago today, Bobby went to Heaven. The above picture was originally taken in 2013 at Lake Kissimmee State Park. A friend made this one for me.
The story behind the original picture will be posted next.
