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Sarah's Attic Of Treasures

Making My Home A Haven is important to me. Sharing homemaking skills. Recipes and food. Bible Studies. This is a treasure chest of goodies. So take a seat. Have a glass of tea and enjoy. You will learn all about who I am.

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Category: Journaling

Making Your Home A Haven Bible Study-Week 1, Day 3 / Sister With A Vision

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Today’s memory verse Today is the third day of Making Your Home A Haven Bible study. My gratitude and prayer list. There are so many verses to pick for my SOAK today.I particularly liked this verse, Psalm 37:3 Trust in the Lord , and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily […]

Making Your Home A Haven Bible Study-Week 1, Day 3 —

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Format GalleryPosted on November 11, 2020December 1, 2020Categories 30 Days Of Thanksgiving, Autumn, Bible Journaling, Bible Studies, Blogging, Blogging Through The Bible With Good Morning Girls, Blogs I love, Candle Light, Celebrations, Challenges, Christian Blogs, Courtney Joseph, Courtney Of Good Morning Girls/ Women Living Well, Daily Post, Fall, Family, Family Traditions, Favorite Bloggers, Favorite Blogs, Favorite Posts, Getting Ready For The Holidays, Giving Thanks, Giving Thanks For The Ordinary, Good Morning Girls, Good Morning Girls Facebook, Gratitude, Holidays, Home, Housewives And Homemaking, Journaling, Making Your Home A Haven, Sarah's Attic Of Treasures, Thanksgiving, This Weeks Bible Study, Women Living Well, Women Living Well FacebookTags Delight In The Lord, Fall Bible Study, Gratitude, Gratitude Beyond Thanksgiving, Homemaking 101, Homemaking Challenges, Housewives And Homemaking, Making Your Home A Haven, Making Your Home A Haven Series, Prayer Journals, Sister With A Vision, Women Living Well, Women Living Well / Good Morning GirlsLeave a comment on Making Your Home A Haven Bible Study-Week 1, Day 3 / Sister With A Vision

Dear Danny; What Happened To Us? What Has Been going on this year. WHY THE ANGER! UPDATED

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From Sarah:
UPDATED November 2nd,


I keep adding updates to this LETTER TO DANNY. Not really a letter anymore with all of the UPDATES.
I still haven’t written on WHAT happened to us (REALLY ME) in FEBRUARY  and WHY I have been very angry and bitter.
Betrayal is a nightmare. What’s worse is when the spouse (In this case, Danny, acts  as if nothing is wrong. Like he hasn’t done anything wrong.)
In February of this year, I found out that Danny was sending Text Messages to other women. I thought his PORN use was bad enough. (That hadn’t been as much of a problem in the last few years.)
Some of these were SEX TEXTS.
He says it’s not cheating. That he isn’t doing anything wrong.
I say it IS CHEATING.
I say it is if for no  other reason that I believe it is. That it is killing me. He is saying things to others that he should be saying to me.
It’s hurtful and downright cruel.
That’s all I want to say about it right now other than things have improved. It’s not taking over his every waking thought. He isn’t doing everything in front of me.
I set some rules down that he must follow. Not enough of them.
I have the means to leave now and that has been a blessing.
Sadly, it took my dad’s dying to be able to have the money to leave.
So, It’s a waiting season, for me at least.
His drinking got bad enough that Danny ended up in the hospital. AGAIN. Pancreatitis. This was the first of September.
Life has been different the last 2 months. He was in the hospital for 8 days.
Off work for a month. Soon after he left the hospital, he got GOUT in his FEET. He wasn’t able to get around without PAIN and TEARS.
He is NOT DRINKING.

UPDATED SEPTEMBER 2020
Danny Started drinking again Thanksgiving weekend , not long after this section was written. I told HIM I WOULD NOT VISIT HIM IN THE HOSPITAL IF HE GETS SICK AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!! ALL I WOULD DO WAS DUMP HIM OFF.
Dump is the right word.
The rest was post last year. 

Yet, the messages to others continue. Not the SEX STUFF. At least right now. I have been very  angry and bitter the last few months.
Working on it.
Blogging and writing more again. Sharing.
I also started using essential oils.
Life goes on.
I will be sharing more and more of my life here. For me mainly.
Love And Hugs Sarah
The rest are older posts and the original LETTER TO DANNY.

Updated. August 3, 2019
Some things have changed for the better since I last wrote this letter.
Life at the park is a little better than before. We have a new Assistant Manager.  Well new 3 years ago. She is amazing.
For me though, it’s HELL.
Mainly things out of my control.

Danny finally got me on his cell phone plan. Verizon. So I got a new phone.
Another phone and number. LOL
Shortly after I wrote the first letter to Danny, I bought a good used cell phone and got Twigby
I had phone service and data.
Data is important because our internet connection at it’s best is only 1G. Usually it’s .05 or less.
Or nothing at all.
Although at the moment , Nothing is working well here.
Not on either phones.
I bought a better camera and finally a new laptop. Not as good as I need but better than the ones Danny bought me.

I have been back to Illinois 2 different times.
Once in November of last year. Danny was with me. We were there almost a month.
It was wonderful to be on the family farm again.
To spend quality time with family.
Dad. Donna and Jim. My niece and nephews and their families.
I called a few friends but didn’t visit with them then. I needed family time.
Danny and I needed time together. We need time away from Lake Kissimmee State Park and Rolling Meadows Ranch.
Away from the radio.
AWAY together.
We had a wonderful time. We stayed in a motel in Grafton. It overlooked the Mississippi River.
We traveled the back roads of my childhood. Ate Catfish and fritters. Frog Legs. Home cooking. We shared meals together.
(We had a great time.
We had a lot of heartbreak there as well.
I promise, I will talk about the visits to Illinois.)
We seldom eat together in Florida.
Danny eats in his computer room at all hours. Refusing any kind of meal time together.
I grew up with family meals.
Lively meals. We laughed . Told stories. Caught up with everyone and their day.
I miss that almost more than anything.
Things changed drastically after the New Year. Honestly, I still don’t understand it.
I am not up to writing about it now, other to say that Danny is NOT the same. He is going through a terrible mid-life crisis. Male Menopause.
Everything that has been wrong all these years is worse. Everything Danny thinks is Okay when I KNOW it’s morally wrong ……It’s worse.
I feel sorry for anyone who has lived through betrayal and hurt.

It’s a lonely life here for me.
I went back home to Grafton In May. I scheduled it so my sister and her husband could go to Idaho for 2 weeks. I wanted to be there a week or so before they left and a week or so after they came back. I wanted to be there for Mother’s Day. Bobby’s Angel Day on May 19th.
Danny was asked to go along.
By the time I left Florida, I was thankful he had stayed home.
I really didn’t want to go home to him when I finally had to.
I will write more about both trips soon.
I will say that while I was in Illinois, my dad died.
Danny took a plane there a week later so we could drive my Dad’s car back to Florida.
He was in Illinois overnight. That’s It.
I couldn’t even enjoy the ROAD TRIP home. I got a MIGRAINE. SICK THE WHOLE TIME.

The really important things have deteriorated so badly, that I know in my heart I should leave.
I would be a lot happier if I left him. Left Florida.
Where would I go?
Good question?
Colorado?
I always wanted to move back to Colorado. I dream of being in the mountains again. I long for it.
4 Seasons. All Mild.
I would see snow. I wouldn’t be burning up 350 or more days of the year. It’s not as humid.
The mountains call my name.
They always have.
What about my hometown?
Grafton?
I love the family farm, but my sister and her husband own it now. They have plans to sell most of it and move to Idaho.
My niece and nephews and their families live in Illinois.
I have friends there.
My home church is there.
I have choices.
Writing as if I were writing to Danny again. :


Danny,
I don’t need you to be happy. I was perfectly content living in Colorado when Bobby was alive. I would have managed very well if I had never left it.
I didn’t know until you told me a few months ago, that my dad had told you to get me as far away from Colorado when he and my mom came out the week Bobby died.
THANK YOU for Following Dad’s advice.
Yet, in all honesty, Dad was wrong.
He meant well.
When he saw me a few days after Bobby died, all he saw was a shell of myself.
A wreck. Someone who wasn’t able to close her eyes because all she saw was Bobby lying on the floor in his apartment. Dead.
All I could smell was death.
When I went back to close up the house a few months after moving to Florida, I couldn’t wait to see everything . I was HOME in Colorado.


Yes, Bobby was everywhere. I loved that part.
What I remember most is the joy I felt coming HOME.
I was happy. Yes, I was grieving. I would have grieved no matter where I was.
I missed you while I was there those 2 weeks. I made sure I was back in Florida for Easter weekend.
I hated leaving Colorado.
I left in a snowstorm.
It was in the upper 80’s when I got to Florida.
My heart was still in Colorado. I shouldn’t have had to choose between  you or Colorado.

The following is an old post.
I wrote the following section  2 years ago.
During a very lonely night of missing Bobby, Missing US, Missing Me. This was a post I never meant to share.


I rambled. I was open and honest. Too honest, maybe…Not honest enough…. It’s emotional. Heartfelt. A Mom who misses her child.
A few things have changed since I wrote this.
Our Assistant Manager Left last month.
Charlie Left last year.
Danny really HATES what has happened at work. He still loves Lake Kissimmee State Park and being a Park Ranger. He Hates  many of the changes that have been made and the ones that never seem to change.

I have cell service. Sort of : TextNow.
I bought a refurbished Samsung S4.

Danny bought me a DSLR Camera for my birthday.
WHY? So I could start taking photos of Train Activities. And It was Cheap.
Not complaining because at least I have one now.
I went home to Illinois.
For Mom’s memorial service.

We were suppose to go to Arizona to see my dad in October of last year.
The money was supposed to have been SAVED.
We couldn’t go. Not our fault.
But the MONEY I had put aside for it IS GONE.
Danny, you promised to save it and not spend it.
It was money from Dad anyway. For Me.

It was the ONLY thing I insisted on when I got my Christmas Check. The ONLY THING.

We still have good times. A lot of them. The simple every day moments.

I haven’t been happy. It’s not all your fault. Depression is a horrible thing. Yet, I cover it well when you are home. I keep things going.

I am sorry for the weight gain.
Do you ever walk with me?
The only time we ever walked together is when we walked Mittens.
She has been dead for almost 3 years.

I don’t remember you ever asking me “How  My Day Went”….Not here in Florida.
You never ask me about anything PERSONAL.

From Sarah
Please Pray for me. I love Danny. I know he loves me.

THE FOLLOWING IS THE ORIGINAL LETTER I WROTE TO DANNY. (Of course, It was never given to him).
MY ORIGINAL LETTER TO DANNY.

Written:
Thursday, September 17, 2015
Dear Danny,
We each made promises before and after I moved here to Florida.  You were so different back then and I know I was as well.
We had the world at our feet. We really did. We even had the money to make most of our dreams come true.

I know that the chances of you ever finding another job in the Park Service that included a house or a mobile home not on top of other employees would be hard. I have looked at ALL of the parks. I have had years to look around.
We are fortunate to live where we do. We have a house, We live alone for the most part on 7 thousand areas. We have the park to call our own as well as Catfish Creek. I don’t know of anyone one else who can say they sit in the middle if 25 thousand acres.
We see more animals in our own yard than most people see in a lifetime. Danny, I would miss this house and what we have here. You know that. I would hate living in town again. With PEOPLE.
You have seen me wither away bit by bit every year as the summers get longer, hotter and wetter. You have seen what it does to me.
You have seen the tears I have shed. I am an outdoor person who lives inside most of the year.
Why do I understand why you stay here and yet, you won’t admit how much I need to leave?


Danny, You aren’t even happy here any more. You still enjoy the work. You just can’t stand the fact that you are the ONLY one who is really doing their part. At least Andi is starting to come round. Mark is only going to get worse. If that is possible. Big Josh won’t grow up. How many split shifts did you have to do this week because he took off his late field week? That is NOT going to change. Charlie, (And you know I love him like a brother) is so tired of the park that he isn’t going to get any better. He will always take off weekends and holidays. Why shouldn’t he? He has a new wife and her son and a small ranch of his own to take care of.
Unlike Us who never do anything. They have a life and working together.
Our managers certainly are not going to change. They have had 9 years to change.
I have kept ALL of my promises. Every single one of them.
Can you say the same thing? Remember, I have all of our letters, notes, emails and postcards. Every last one of them.
Have you kept any of them?

OK, You promised to always love me and I know that you do
What happened to our dreams? Our plans?

Danny, Bobby died while I was making plans to move here. I never backed down. Never wavered from our plan. Yes, I had to delay moving to Florida. Yes, we had to delay the wedding for a few months.
I came as soon as I could get his affairs taken care of. AFFAIRS, How I hate that word, no matter how it is used.
He died in May and I was here the week before Thanksgiving. I even came the week we were suppose to have been married. I was here exactly as planned. I just had to go back.
Danny, I had to close down our house, Bobby’s apartment and bury my son.
What did you have to do?
I will always be thankful you were there with me right after he died. No One, No Parent, No Mother, should have have to say goodbye to their child, although, if you remember I refused to say goodbye to him.
Hell week.
I remember more of it than you think I do. I remember you holding me for hours when I couldn’t I remember my parents going in to say their goodbyes. Oh Danny, Dad cried. He cried because of Bobby and because he knew he couldn’t help me get through it. . I remember later dad telling me how glad he was that you were there.
You told him that you would never let me cry if you could help it.
YOU LIED.
Not once, since I moved here have you held me when I was crying unless I asked you to. Not once.
You have intentionally let me cry.

.

You were the one who found Caladonna’s and took care of everything. I just had to sign for things.
Did I ever thank you for insisting that I see him that day? I wasn’t going to. I didn’t want to see him.
You told me that I would never get the image of him lying there in his apartment out of my mind (and I haven’t), but that I need to see him one last time. I had to talk to him.
The tears have been falling for awhile now.
You were right. I had to have one last talk with my son.
I remember my parents going in to say their goodbyes. Oh Danny, Dad cried. He cried because of Bobby and because he knew he couldn’t help me get through it. . I remember later dad telling me how glad he was that you were there.
You told him that you would never let me cry if you could help it.
YOU LIED.
Not once, since I moved here have you held me when I was crying unless I asked you to. Not once.
You have intentionally let me cry.
Danny, You promised I would be able to get my things. That we would drive them back here together. No the fire there WAS NOT your fault. It was your fault that we never made it back there that first year

What happened to us going to Colorado. Climbing Pikes Peak. I was healthy enough to still do it until 3 -4 years ago.

Visiting MY FAMILY OUT WEST and in ILLINOIS?
Those were the main things I asked for.
The most important ones.
Except for AC. You have kept that promise. I have AC.
Why did it take you till this summer to put the AC in the kitchen?

I don’t ask for much. You say that all the time. So why do you give me such a hard time about everything I do ask for? I have asked for cell phone service and a decent camera. I got a camera that wore out in a year. I never did get a cell phone service. The only one I have ,someone gave me because I needed a camera.
Remember, You had me give up A T&T (which worked better here than Verizon did/does) so I could get on your plan. It never happened. You came up with excuse after excuse.

I am sorry I am sick most of the time any more.
I understand what that does to you. I get that.

I understand that you weren’t expecting to get the job at Lake Kissimmee State Park. I really understand why you took it. Why we weren’t going to take that first year and travel.
I was glad about the job. It also meant I was STUCK here in Florida.

What happened to us?
What went wrong?
You asked me to leave Colorado and the home I had there. A house I had lived in for years. Raised my son in. You asked me to leave Bobby and all the wonderful family and friends I had there or nearby.
I left a a stay at home job I loved. Teaching was everything to me. You saw the Homeschool/ daycare/preschool. I made more money 12 years ago than you do now with the park service. A Lot more.
I gave up the Special Lupus Program that had paid for almost everything.
You knew how much I hated being hot. We talked for months about that. You knew I left Illinois and the farm I loved because I couldn’t handle the heat and humidity. Medically couldn’t handle it. That was 23 years before. I was younger then. Healthier.
You promised me over and over again, if I couldn’t handle it in Florida, we’d leave it.
You promised.

We are fortunate to live where we do. We have a house, We live alone for the most part on 7 thousand areas. We have the park to call our own as well as Catfish Creek. I don’t know of anyone one else who can say they sit in the middle if 25 thousand acres.
We see more animals in our own yard than most people see in a lifetime. Danny, I would miss this house and what we have here. You know that. I would hate living in town again. With PEOPLE.
You have seen me wither away bit by bit every year as the summers get longer, hotter and wetter. You have seen what it does to me.
You have seen the tears I have shed. I am an outdoor person who lives inside most of the year.
Why do I understand why you stay here and yet, you won’t admit how much I need to leave?
Danny, You aren’t even happy here any more. You still enjoy the work. You just can’t stand the the fact that you are the ONLY one who is really doing their part. At least Andi is starting to come round.

Mark is only going to get worse. If that is possible. Big Josh won’t grow up. How many split shifts did you have to do this week because he took off his late field week? That is NOT going to change. Charlie, (And you know I love him like a brother) is so tired of the park that he isn’t going to get any better. He will always take off weekends and holidays. Why shouldn’t he? He has a new wife and her son and a small ranch of his own to take care of.
Unlike Us who never do anything. They have a life and working together.
Our managers certainly are not going to change. They have had 9 years to change.
I have kept ALL of my promises. Every single one of them.
Can you say the same thing? Remember, I have all of our letters, notes, emails and postcards. Every last one of them.
Have you kept any of them?

OK, You promised to always love me and I know that you do
What happened to our dreams? Our plans?

.

Hell week.
I remember more of it than you think I do. I remember you holding me for hours when I couldn’t I remember my parents going in to say their goodbyes. Oh Danny, Dad cried. He cried because of Bobby and because he knew he couldn’t help me get through it. . I remember later dad telling me how glad he was that you were there.
You told him that you would never let me cry if you could help it.
YOU LIED.
Not once, since I moved here have you held me when I was crying unless I asked you to. Not once.
No the fire there WAS NOT your fault. It was your fault that we never made it back there that first year.

I remember my parents going in to say their goodbyes. Oh Danny, Dad cried. He cried because of Bobby and because he knew he couldn’t help me get through it. . I remember later dad telling me how glad he was that you were there.
You told him that you would never let me cry if you could help it.
YOU LIED.
Not once, since I moved here have you held me when I was crying unless I asked you to. Not once.
You have intentionally let me cry.

No the fire there WAS NOT your fault. It was your fault that we never made it back there that first year.
Danny, You promised I would be able to get my things. That we would drive them back here together.
What happened to us going to Colorado. Climbing Pike’s Peak. I was healthy enough to still do it until 3 -4 years ago.
Visiting MY FAMILY OUT WEST and in ILLINOIS?
Those were the main things I asked for.
The most important ones.
Except for AC. You have kept that promise. I have AC.
Why did it take you till this summer do put the AC in the kitchen?

I don’t ask for much. You say that all the time. So why do you give me such a hard time about everything I do ask for? I have asked for cell phone service and a decent camera. I got a camera that wore out in a year. I never did get a cell phone service. The only one I have someone gave me because I needed a camera.
Remember, You had me give up A T&T (which worked better here than Verizon did/does) so I could get on your plan. It never happened. You came up with excuse after excuse.

As usual, I got off the subject. I was talking about our plans.
OUR PLANS.
Do you realize that you have never asked me what I thought about any of the big decisions that have been made in the last 9 years that I have been here? Most of the time we had talked about them for months. But you never really asked how or what I felt. Not once.

What happened to those DREAMS OF YOURS that became my dreams?
Want me to list them?
You promised me we’d travel the US in the RV.
Maybe not the whole US but at least out of Florida.
You promised we would go back within a few months and bring mine and Bobby’s belongings back.
Danny, I can’t blame you for the wildfire that destroyed the house where everything was stored.
Yes, there is a huge part of me that is angry about it.
I lost everything except what I had brought with me in 2 suitcases on 3 different plane trips here That is 6 suitcases. 6 suitcase. Everything I owned. Everything of Bobby’s.

I don’t ask for much. You say that all the time. So why do you give me such a hard time about everything I do ask for? I have asked for cell phone service and a decent camera. I got a camera that wore out in a year. I never did get a cell phone service. The only one I have someone gave me because I needed a camera.
Remember, You had me give up A T&T (which worked better here than Verizon did/does) so I could get on your plan. It never happened. You came up with excuse after excuse.
I am sorry I am sick most of the time any more.
I understand what that does to you. I get that.

I understand that you weren’t expecting to get the job at Lake Kissimmee State Park. I really understand why you took it. Why we weren’t going to take that first year and travel.
I was glad about the job. It also meant I was STUCK here in Florida.

We had 2 vacations and 2 wonderful 3 day weekends in Daytona, One vacation  was before I moved here. So was the first Daytona 500. That means we had ONE vacation and One 3 day weekend in Daytona after I left Colorado.
Yes, I agreed that Daytona was too expensive and too busy.
The vacation we did take was in August to Pine Island. We went fishing on a boat in 90 degree weather.
Hell week.
Sorry but even you said that it was.
You just had to go then.
That was in 2008.

Yes we went to Disney 2 times. I loved them both, One was before I came here. The other was when we still lived in Day Use. We went with other volunteers.
I loved both days with you there. They were wonderful and magical.
We haven’t been to the coast or the Atlantic since we went for work.
We haven’t been anywhere except for work. The last time we got away from here was 3 years ago. We worked at Lake Louisa on the trails.
We worked our butts off and yet we had so much fun. Remember that cabin?
We’ve been offered it a number of times since then.
It is less than 2 hours from here. Yes, I know there is traffic all the way. So take 17 as far as we can. It is not bad from then on.

I know I am coming down on you but once I got started I couldn’t stop.
And I left out a few IMPORTANT things.,
You know what they are.

Look back to what I promised you. Have I broken ANY of them?
Have I not followed through on them? On everyone of them.

I told you I could be a “Bitch” At least I work hard not to be. And when I am, I apologize before during and after.

Goodness knows I have my faults.
I have plenty of them.
Danny, It doesn’t cost anything to go on a picnic. We have to eat anyway. We have plenty of places HERE to have one.
We haven’t been fishing since we left the park. Your boat has sat here rotting for the same amount of time.
We never go left on 60. There are a few places just down the road a ways that we have never been to. We always go to Lake Wales.
What happened to you?
I love our quiet times here at home. I miss family meals. You know how important they are to me. Yet, most of the time I eat alone. I usually sit with you no matter how late you are up.

I know you love me.
What happened to the person who enjoyed making me smile> All I need is a hug. A touch. Ok I get the no touching. A kind word . A thank you.
Danny, I try so hard to be the women, wife, girl and bedtime person that you want me to be. My whole life revolves around you. ”

I am not saying we don’t have good times. We just don’t have many. We still talk for hours and hours. Or rather you do because I am not working with you so what I do any more doesn’t interest you. You have no idea what I do all day.
NONE.

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Format GalleryPosted on September 11, 2020September 12, 2020Categories About Me, An Intro From Sarah, Bobby, Colorado, Danny, Danny and I, Depression, Grief and Grieving, Home, Journaling, Lake Kissimmee State Park, Life At The Park, Marriage, Memories, My Life, My Memories, My Ramblings, My Ramblings: About Me, My Rants, My Stories, Our Life, Our Neck Of The Woods, Park Life, Rolling Meadows Ranch, Sarah's Attic Of TreasuresTags Betrayals, Heartbreak, Lake Kissimmee State Park, Letters To Danny, Marriage, My life, My Ramblings, Our Life, Our Neck Of The Woods, Sarah Rambles, Sarah's Attic Of TreasuresLeave a comment on Dear Danny; What Happened To Us? What Has Been going on this year. WHY THE ANGER! UPDATED

Sunday, Day 6- Staying Upbeat And Eating Right (Trying Hard) More From Me In The Comments.

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                               Sunday, Day 6- Staying Upbeat And Eating Right (Trying Hard)

Day 6 of My Health And Wellness Challenge

More From Me In The Comments.

Inspired  By Neisha Love It
On YouTube

https://images.app.goo.gl/UAqCQUbFg38XAfCA9

Yeah, I admit, that I have not been motivated at all today.  Feeling like I need to hibernate in a room all to myself. Hard to do in a house like our with an open concept. One room is a train room.  One  Danny took over as his computer room. It was suppose to be OUR computer room. The other room is our bedroom. The door shuts but Baby Girl can open it at will. The few times I have tried to use it for some peace and quiet, Danny decides he has to take his bath then. Or he walks through it a number of times.
So I usually hang out in the kitchen. I sit on the love seat and use the table.

                                                                                                                                      My Favorite Mug

Our nights and days are usually messed up since we both tend to stay up late and sleep in late. I mean really late. We don’t have a schedule. Well, Danny doesn’t, unless he is working. I usually do the same things everyday and pretty much in the same order. It just depends on when I get up . I will often go to bed after Danny leaves for work in the morning. My day, then, doesn’t start until noon or later.
I feel better the later in the day it gets.

I usually wake up wanting my Diet Pepsi. For years now, I have tried to drink chai latte in the mornings. Usually with way to much Heavy Whipping Cream.
Still better than Diet Pepsi by a long shot but not good for weight loss or even feeling great.
It does make me smile though.

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Format GalleryPosted on September 6, 2020December 2, 2020Categories Blogs I love, Daily Post, Danny and I, Depression, Journaling, My Ramblings, Neisha Loves It September Health And Wellness Challenge, Our Life, Our Neck Of The WoodsTags Challenges, Health And Wellness, Neisha Loves It, September3 Comments on Sunday, Day 6- Staying Upbeat And Eating Right (Trying Hard) More From Me In The Comments.

My Health And Wellbeing September Challenge Day 2/ Thanks to Neisha Loves It For The Original Challenge

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I always have good moments in my day. Usually it’s Baby Girl just doing what she always does. Or it’s the way the sun looks in the morning or even shadows.

Day 2 - September 2, 2020
Last night I reacted badly to Danny signing out 45 minutes early. I was relaxed. Still calm. All it took was here him sign out over the work radio. I went from Calm And Relaxed to this "Witch Bitch" I still don't recognize as myself. Even after feeling this anger for a year and a half. 
Danny was home within 10 minutes so I had only a few minutes to calm down. It didn't happen. While I kept the anger out of my tone, I was still a bit agitated. OK, I was Full Blown Irritated. It really wasn't his fault and it should NEVER have been an ISSUE. 
I made it one. 
The rest of the night didn't go well. We were both out of sorts. 
Working on my temper.
ALWAYS. 
Working to stay calm. To not react  every time something small happens. 
I never went to bed Tuesday night. Mainly because I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. Danny had to get up at 7 AM. He DID NOT go to bed until 6:15 AM. Yep, 45 minutes before his alarm went off.
He had not been quiet during the night. Everything was setting him off And he would start fussing from his computer room. Then the actual yelling would start. I am proud of myself for remaining fairly quiet through it all.



I got tired of having to interrupt what I was doing and having to go find out what he was upset about. This goes on every night. Not always as bad. I can never relax. He invited me to a chat that he was having with a follower from his You Tube Channel. There is a long story pertaining to this type of request that I won't go into now.  Let's just say she was a young female. I had NO INTEREST in being there. Yet, I was trying to please Danny. He wanted me to be there with him.  
There is nothing wrong with this person or her channel. 
It's just a reminder of what happened last year with YOUNG FEMALES  online. (Not ready to explain any further).
So I was frustrated. We waited for the chat. It never happened. I REMAIN CALMER than NORMAL. I remained fairly calm ALL NIGHT.I had to work at it. I wanted to explode when he said he wasn't eating Supper. The special dish he asked for. The one that I couldn't eat because it wasn't healthy.
So this morning I had to really hold in my anger. Keep my cools as Danny's alarm clock went off for 30 minutes. I kept my cool after trying 2xs to get him up. He finally got up and got dressed. He was a bit HUNGOVER. I wanted to yell at him but I didn't . I made a few faces but never said a word. He left a little late. I was anxious until I heard someone call him over the radio an hour later. I knew he was OKAY. I was able to finally relax. I slept off and on. Not soundly. I got up around 2ish. Made the beds. Got dressed. Etc. Got certain things ready for him for Thursday. Went out side. The sun was shining brightly. It was HOT AND HUMID but I forced myself to walk around the yard for 15 minutes. I at least got some Vitamin D. Took a shower. Changed Clothes again. Did a little Bible Study. I need to get back into it. Read a few posts on Wellness And Health. Looked up some YOGA exercises. I only had a couple of hours to work on my anger still festering inside me. I wanted to be calm when Danny got home. I SUCCEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Neisha Loves It On You Tube.

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Format GalleryPosted on September 2, 2020December 2, 2020Categories Blogs I love, Challenges, Comfort Foods, Daily Life Struggles, Daily Post, Danny, Danny and I, Depression, Everyday Living, Fall, Family Times, Favorite Bloggers, Favorite Blogs, Healthy Living, Journaling, Marriage, My Memories, My Ramblings: About Me, My Rants, My Stories, Our Life, Quieting Your Heart, Sarah's Attic Of TreasuresTags Anger, Danny and I, Emotions, Health And Wellneing, Neisha Loves It., September, September ChallengesLeave a comment on My Health And Wellbeing September Challenge Day 2/ Thanks to Neisha Loves It For The Original Challenge

Quieting Your Heart For The Holidays/ Update from Sarah On Week 1 And Life In Our Neck Of The Woods/ Week 2 / By Time Warp Wife

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From Sarah :
I will write about THIS PAST WEEK IN OUR NECK OF THE WOODS later on in this post. I held off starting this week even though I posted Week 1 last week.

Quieting Your Heart For The Holidays – Week 2 /

November 28, 2015 by Darlene Schacht 
https://timewarpwife.com/quieting-your-heart-free-resources-week-2/

This Week’s Resources:

“Welcome to week two of Quieting Your Heart for the Holidays. Here are the resources for this week…

In the guide (find link below), you’ll find that I have selected scripture to read on Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays. On the alternate days it’s my hope that you’ll dig a bit deeper. For example, you could… look scripture up in your favorite commentary, read it in the interlinear Bible, look up words you want to gain a deeper understanding of, and watch sermons on the topic.

WEEK AT A GLANCE – FREE Printable Below Week at a glance is a synopsis of the study guide. It can be used as a book mark for your Bible, or you might want to put it up on your fridge as a reminder of each week’s focus. I printed mine out on card stock, and I’ll be keeping it in my Bible.

WEEKLY QUESTIONS – For those who want questions for reflection or group study, I’ll have new ones each week.

BIBLE VERSE CARDS – FREE Printable Below

Each week I’ll give you seven cards. There are 30 in total. I cut mine out, hole punched them, and put them on a little binder ring so I can meditate on one scripture/day. They’re so cute. I love them! These cards are a keepsake you can use for years to come. I picked Bible verses that remind me of the REASON for the season.

PRAYER JOURNAL

You don’t need to pick up a copy of my prayer journal to do this study with us. That’s totally optional. You can use any journal you have. In fact you could use a simple piece of paper. What I encourage you to do is to use your journal to journalize daily prayers, and to give thanks for a few things each day.

You might also use the journal to diarize the holiday season, making it a keepsake you’ll want to hang on to.

THE BLOG

I’ll be posting on the topics each week on Tuesdays and Fridays. Come here to glean encouragement and share in my thoughts.”


WEEK AT A GLANCE

Week 2 at a Glance

WEEKLY QUESTIONS

Questions Week 2

BIBLE VERSE CARDS
You’ll get 7 of these each week (30 in total)

 Bible Verses Days 8-11   |      Bible Verses Day 12-14


https://timewarpwife.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/BibleVerses12-14.pdf
Open to view the last 3 days.

28-PAGE STUDY GUIDE

Click here to download a free copy

From Sarah :
I am starting this wonderful study today. I wasn’t prepared for it when Advent started last week. I could blame it on the fact we were in Plant City until Tuesday of the first week. I had plenty of time to get ready for it here. I could have shared the first week on time but I chose family (In my case , Danny) and held off. Lighting Advent candles at a B & B could have been done. We had the whole house to ourselves. I still chose not to. I wasn’t ready (in my heart ) to begin.
My HEART WASN’T QUIET.
I am beginning Quieting Your Heart For The Holidays today, Sunday, December 8, 2019. I will continue the 4th week after Christmas.
That will work for me because I celebrate Advent / Christmas through January. I always have.
I haven’t begun to get ready for Christmas this year. I still have my few Thanksgiving Knick Knacks out. Not really wanting Thanksgiving to be over.
I am Still waiting for MY HEART TO QUIET.

MY HEART hasn’t been QUIET in a very long time.
I was praying that our mini- vacation would bring us closer and in a way it did. Yet, NOT IN THE WAYS I NEEDED IT TO.

Danny really has no clue how unhappy I have been . Yes, I have tried multiple times to tell him. He shuts me down every time.
He believes I should forgive him . That I should have been able to get past what happened last February. What happened long before that.
He doesn’t believe he betrayed me when he was TEXTING OTHER WOMEN. SEX-TEXTING EVEN. That is wrong no matter how you look at it.
He has never once said he was sorry.
Even if he wasn’t wrong. That it wasn’t cheating. That it wasn’t a betrayal. Danny hurt me and continued to hurt me and THAT WAS WRONG. WORSE IT WAS CRUEL. There was no hiding it. I was confronted every day. Every time he was on his phone. All day and night.
He isn’t texting ANY OF THEM NOW. NOT BECAUSE HE BELIEVES HE WAS WRONG BUT BECAUSE HE LOST INTEREST.
Danny has women that he texts every day. He’s not SEX-TESTING them or doing anything really wrong, EXCEPT THAT IT BOTHERS ME. He texted the WHOLE TIME WE WERE IN PLANT CITY. THE WHOLE TIME WE WERE IN OUR ROOM AT THE STRAWBERRY HOUSE.
I REALLY DON’T CARE THAT HE TEXTS CERTAIN WOMEN. HE HAS A LOT OF FRIENDS ONLINE.
What bothers me is when he texts them 24/7. ESPECIALLY DURING OUR TIME TOGETHER.

We were there for 4 days. The last photo shown was at lunch our first day. We had only been in PLANT CITY an HOUR. We were unloading the car or rather I was unloading the car at the B&B when I walked in on him texting .
I admit that I didn’t handle that well. it brought back TO MANY MEMORIES OF OUR LAST VISIT TO THE STRAWBERRY HOUSE WHEN HE WAS SEX-TEXTING.
GRANTED this time the texting was a rail fan and there wasn’t anything wrong with it EXCEPT THAT HE DID IT THE WHOLE TIME WE WERE THERE.
The person that he mainly texted all weekend WAS ANOTHER RAIL FAN. SHE IS ALSO IN HER 60’S. SO , IT’S NOT JEALOUSY . THERE IS NOTHING THERE. THEY HAVE BEEN “FRIENDS” ON YOUTUBE FOR A YEAR OR SO.
Other than a few comments they had never really texted.
Kathy was feeling sorry for herself over the HOLIDAYS. She was lonely. I get that.
I WAS LONELY! I AM ALWAY LONELY WHEN DANNY IS HERE.
THE ONLY THING I ASKED DANNY TO DO WHEN WE WERE ON OUR TRIP WAS NOT TEST THE WHOLE TIME. WELL, I DID ASK ONE OTHER THING……I WANTED SEX BUT MOST OF ALL I WANTED TO BE CUDDLED AT NIGHT. I WANTED US TO DO THINGS TOGETHER. I WANTED THE CLOSENESS. I NEEDED THE TOUCHING.
I WANTED TO COME FIRST.

This past week IN OUR NECK OF THE WOODS was NORMAL.
Meaning Danny went to work. The rest of the time, EXCEPT FOR A FEW MINUTES IN THE MORNING AND MAYBE 20 MINUTES WHEN DANNY GOT HOME HE WAS IN HIS COMPUTER ROOM.

For those of You that are late getting started WITH THE HOLIDAYS this year here is :

Quieting Your Heart For The Holidays – Week 1.

November 21, 2015 by Darlene Schacht 41 Comments

“I don’t want to overwhelm you today, but I have a lot of resources to offer you for this study. You’ll find all of the links below the descriptions. I hope you enjoy them!

THE STUDY GUIDE – FREE Printable Below

We officially begin our study today. However, today is only the introduction. We don’t start in on the study guides or the prayer journals until Monday. I wanted to give you the resources early so you were ready to go on Monday morning.

In the guide (find link below), you’ll find that I have selected scripture to read on Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays. On the alternate days it’s my hope that you’ll dig a bit deeper. For example, you could… look scripture up in your favorite commentary, read it in the interlinear Bible, look up words you want to gain a deeper understanding of, and watch sermons on the topic.WEEK AT A GLANCE – FREE Printable BelowWeek at a glance is a synopsis of the study guide. It can be used as a book mark for your Bible, or you might want to put it up on your fridge as a reminder of each week’s focus. I printed mine out on card stock, and I’ll be keeping it in my Bible.

WEEKLY QUESTIONS

For those who want questions for reflection or group study, I’ll have new ones each week.

BIBLE VERSE CARDS – FREE Printable Below

Each week I’ll give you seven cards. There are 30 in total. I cut mine out, hole punched them, and put them on a little binder ring so I can meditate on one scripture/day. They’re so cute. I love them! These cards are a keepsake you can use for years to come. I picked Bible verses that remind me of the REASON for the season.

PRAYER JOURNAL 

You don’t need to pick up a copy of my prayer journal to do this study with us. That’s totally optional. You can use any journal you have. In fact you could use a simple piece of paper. What I encourage you to do is to use your journal to journalize daily prayers, and to give thanks for a few things each day.

You might also use the journal to diarize the holiday season, making it a keepsake you’ll want to hang on to.

THE BLOG

I’ll be posting on the topics each week on Tuesdays and Fridays. Come here to glean encouragement and share in my thoughts.

FIND ME ON THE WEB

Look for my daily journal entries on Instagram. Here’s my URL: @timewarpwife

I don’t even think you need an Instagram account if you’re just looking. If you do have an account, then you’ll know what I mean when I say, use the hashtag #quietingyourheart

Find us in our Facebook group: Bible Journaling. I’m sure that many of the readers including myself will be sharing their journal entries.

Follow me on Facebook. Click the like button in the header. And if you’re not getting my notifications on your homepage, click the “like” button and choose “get notifications.” Facebook changed their algorithm about a year ago and started hiding the pages we like. Argh!”

From Sarah:
BEFORE I CAN REALLY START ADVENT AND THIS BIBLE STUDY, I NEED TO FIND MY ADVENT CANDLES.
Have a wonderful week. Happy Sunday,
Love and Hugs, Sarah

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Format GalleryPosted on December 8, 2019December 8, 2019Categories 30 Days Of Thanksgiving, About Me, Advent, At Home, Autumn, Bible Journaling, Bible Study For the Month, Blogs I love, Candle Light, Candles, Celebrations, Challenges, Christian Blogs, Christmas, Church Holidays, Daily Post, Daily Quotes, Danny, Danny and I, December, Everyday Living, Fall, Family, Family Times, Favorite Bloggers, Favorite Blogs, Favorite Posts, Getting Ready For The Holidays, Giving Thanks, Holidays, Home, Journaling, Making Your Home A Haven, My Life, My Ramblings, My Rants, Our Everyday Ordinary Life, Our Life, Our Neck Of The Woods, Sarah's Attic Of TreasuresTags An Update From Sarah, Danny and I, Home Life, Life In Our Neck Of The Woods, My Ramblings, November, Our Get-A Way To Plant City Thanksgiving Weekend., Plant City, Quieting Your Heart For The Holidays, This Week In Our Neck Of The Woods, Time Warp WifeLeave a comment on Quieting Your Heart For The Holidays/ Update from Sarah On Week 1 And Life In Our Neck Of The Woods/ Week 2 / By Time Warp Wife

Quieting Your Heart for the Holidays Week One /   Time-Warp Wife |Reblogged From 2015

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http://timewarpwife.com/quieting-your-heart-for-the-holidays-todays-the-day-our-study-begins/

Quieting Your Heart For The Holidays


( This is the original one that started the series) 

 December 

From Sarah : This is my favorite one to date and I have done them all.  Quieting Your Heart For The Holidays. A  Study of The Book Of Luke.

 Quieting Your Heart for the Holidays – A Study of Luke 12:22-34 – Time-Warp Wife | Time-Warp Wife
https://sarahsatticoftreasures.com/2017/03/19/quieting-your-heart-for-the-holidays-a-study-of-luke-time-warp-wife/

https://sarahsatticoftreasures.com/2015/11/27/luke-1222-34/

From Sarah :

The Study Of Luke : Quieting Your Heart For The Holidays.

By Tara Of Doodle Through The Bible

MENU

Luke 12:22-34 Quieting Your Heart Series

I am so glad that I saw this today. Tara From Doodle Through The Bible and Verse Doodles did this For The Series:
Quieting Your Heart Through The Holidays by Time Warp Wife.
Check out Tara’s other Doodles.
She is awesome.
https://sarahsatticoftreasures.com/2017/03/15/luke-quieting-your-heart-series-with-doodle-through-the-bible/

Verse Doodles

I ran across a study over at Time Warp Wife called Quieting Your Heart for the Holidays.  My time is limited and I am already doing a different Bible Study but I decided to do a sketchnote in my bullet journal for day one.  Hopefully I will get time to participate more 

https://sarahsatticoftreasures.com/2017/03/12/time-warp-wife-luke-bible-study-quieting-your-heart-series/

Time Warp Wife :

Good Morning Girls Resources for the Book of Luke

A LENT AND ADVENT STUDY.

Time Warp Wife :
https://sarahsatticoftreasures.com/2017/03/12/time-warp-wife-luke-bible-study-quieting-your-heart-series/

Luke Bible Study

Quieting Your Heart Series

As we enter this holiday season, I want to invite you to quiet you heart with me. I thought and I prayed about the best way to enter this holiday season, and as I reading the Word, I kept going back to the book of Luke. I couldn’t help but feel that the best way to prepare for the King was to get to know Him on a deeper level, and to drink from the well of His wisdom.

And so our study begins this Monday, November 21st and runs for four consecutive weeks, ending December 17th.

There are 24 chapters in Luke. Therefore, I suggest reading one chapter per day/six days a week bringing you to a complete four-week study.


Quieting Your Heart For The Holidays – A Study of Luke 12:22-34 – Time-Warp Wife | We have just started this exciting Series this week. Please Join us In Quieting Our Hearts For The Holidays.…read more →Source: Quieting Your Heart for the Holidays – A Study of Luke 12:22-34 – Time-Warp Wife | Time-Warp Wife

Source: Quieting Your Heart For The Holidays – A Study of Luke 12:22-34 – Time-Warp Wife |

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Format GalleryPosted on December 5, 2019December 4, 2019Categories Advent, Bible Journaling, Bible Study For the Month, Blogs I love, Christian Blogs, Christmas, Favorite Bloggers, Favorite Blogs, Journaling, Quieting Your Heart, Sarah's Attic Of Treasures, This Weeks Bible StudyTags Darlene Schacht, Doodle Through The Bible, Quieting Your Heart For The Holidays, Reposting, Tara Of Doodle Through The Bible, The Book Of Luke, Time Warp WifeLeave a comment on Quieting Your Heart for the Holidays Week One /   Time-Warp Wife |Reblogged From 2015

Quieting Your Heart For The Holidays : The Book of Luke / Time-Warp Wife |Reblogged

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Time Warp Wife : The Book Of Luke Bible Study

Quieting Your Heart  For The Holidays Bible Study

As we enter this holiday season, I want to invite you to quiet you heart with me. I thought and I prayed about the best way to enter this holiday season, and as I reading the Word, I kept going back to the book of Luke. I couldn’t help but feel that the best way to prepare for the King was to get to know Him on a deeper level, and to drink from the well of His wisdom.

And so our study begins this Monday, November 21st and runs for four consecutive weeks, ending December 17th.
From Sarah : 2019
Advent Started on December 1st this year. 

I am a little late getting started. I will be doing this Bible Study this month. 

There are 24 chapters in Luke. Therefore, I suggest reading one chapter per day/six days a week bringing you to a complete four-week study.

If we’re going too fast for you—slow down. Go at your own pace. If it takes you two months to complete the study, so be it. This isn’t homework, this is an opportunity to fellowship with God, to quiet your heart during the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, and to find rest in His presence.

There’s a FREE study guide below in which I have provided you with a list of questions for each chapter. This doesn’t mean that you have to tackle every single question. You might want to answer two or three of them each day, and some days you may prefer to answer them all. The questions are simply a method to get you thinking, cross referencing, and rightly dividing the Word. For many of the questions, our answers could be different as God is speaking to each of us in a unique way.

Please note: The study guide is 85 pages. If that is too much for you to print, simply read it on your computer, and record your thoughts in a journal.

As we enter this holiday season, I want to invite you to quiet you heart with me. I thought and I prayed about the best way to enter this holiday season, and as I reading the Word, I kept going back to the book of Luke. I couldn’t help but feel that the best way to prepare for the King was to get to know Him on a deeper level, and to drink from the well of His wisdom.

And so our study begins this Monday, November 21st and runs for four consecutive weeks, ending December 17th.

There are 24 chapters in Luke. Therefore, I suggest reading one chapter per day/six days a week bringing you to a complete four-week study.

If we’re going too fast for you—slow down. Go at your own pace. If it takes you two months to complete the study, so be it. This isn’t homework, this is an opportunity to fellowship with God, to quiet your heart during the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, and to find rest in His presence.

There’s a FREE study guide below in which I have provided you with a list of questions for each chapter. This doesn’t mean that you have to tackle every single question. You might want to answer two or three of them each day, and some days you may prefer to answer them all. The questions are simply a method to get you thinking, cross referencing, and rightly dividing the Word. For many of the questions, our answers could be different as God is speaking to each of us in a unique way.

Please note: The study guide is 85 pages. If that is too much for you to print, simply read it on your computer, and record your thoughts in a journal.

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Format GalleryPosted on December 4, 2019December 4, 2019Categories 30 Days Of Thanksgiving, Advent, Autumn, Bible Journaling, Bible Studies, Bible Study For the Month, Blogs I love, Christmas, Daily Post, December, Fall, Family, Family Times, Family Traditions, Favorite Bloggers, Favorite Blogs, Favorite Posts, Getting Ready For The Holidays, Holidays, Housewives And Homemaking, Journaling, Pay It Forward, Quieting Your Heart, Sarah's Attic Of TreasuresTags Bible Study, Darlene Schacht, Luke, Luke Bible Study, Quieting Your Heart, Quieting Your Heart For Christmas, Quieting Your Heart For The Holidays, QUIETING Your Heart Series, Reblogged1 Comment on Quieting Your Heart For The Holidays : The Book of Luke / Time-Warp Wife |Reblogged

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