Welcome To Sarah's Attic Of Treasures. This is a special place where I share what is important to me. What I hope will bring a smile to your face. I am a Child Of God. A Wife. I am Also an Angel Mom. I share what makes me happy. Things I need to do. I share Christian Blogs and Bible Studies constantly. Making My Home A Haven is important to me. So I will have a number of posts about housewives and homemaking. Recipes and food. Gardening. This is a treasure chest of goodies. So take a seat. Have a glass of tea and enjoy. You will learn all about who I am and Our Neck Of The Woods.
Anticipation and Loving Ice Cream
I love ice cream but seldom allow myself to have it. I am trying to lose weight and somehow that just doesn’t happen eating this particular dish. I wish I could eat as much of it as I wanted to.
Danny and I picked up this quart size box at the little store down the road. A country store.
See the ice machine. It is still broken. I went to find some ice Cube trays. We haven’t needed them for almost 9 years.
I found one lone ice cube tray.
Have you tried getting ice cubes of of those lately. Even Danny had trouble.
I don’t know if you can tell, but that tray is TINY. As in A kids tiny playset.
It took me forever just to get the ice cream dished up. First off. I knew I was going to POST about it. Why not? Doesn’t everyone post pictures about ice cream? It is amazing what we bloggers do nowadays.
I just can’t get the pictures and wording right.
I choose the smaller of the 2. Why? Because it is a good sized bowl. I don’t need the ice cream. |
OK, What was the REAL REASON?
Why did I choose the smaller one?
I knew my teeth could NOT handle the extreme cold very well.
Otherwise I would be still be eating it.
Sorry about the blurriness. My hands often shake any more.
I am also going to tell the rest of the ice cream story.
Many of you out there have been blogging for years. You know how long it takes to do a simple post. Will, I am learning. It takes time and patience.
A good camera would be wonderful. A camera that just worked would be good.
The first red camera (Guess who loves RED?) Works. Except for one tiny tiny problem.
The LCD light burned out 2 years ago.
So I can take pictures. I just can’t see what I am taking pictures of . So I take multiple shots. Of many angles. Every once in awhile I will manually change the setting. They are never exactly right. It is set for distances. Most of the pictures I take are closer up ones.
It froze up.
The ice cream was sitting out through all of this.
I grabbed my smart phone. I couldn’t get it to work. It was a well used phone and camera before a friend sent it to me almost 2 years ago . I use it for everything but a phone. Or I was using it. Poor thing. Worn out.
I have taken thousands and thousands of pictures on all of these cameras.
I hadn’t had a bite of ice cream. I waited for the smartphone to start up again. While waiting on it, I went to grab my old camera.
And started taking pictures. Not seeing anything I was taking a picture of. That is really not much fun.
There is something wrong with me…… Using a camera I can’t see out of to take pictures of another camera(Smartphone) that isn’t working right.
Yep, it is called A BLOGGERS LIFE in 2005.
So this post is about a lady needing to lose weight ,who is fixing herself a bowl of ice cream as she is taking pictures with cameras that don’t work right. Then she is posting them here for all of you to read.
So while I was getting the ice cream ready. While I was taking pictures of it all, I was also taking pictures of the broken ice machine.
Ice from the shop at work.
I was also taking pictures of a dirty, needing to be cleaned…..I still don’t have the foggiest idea what was spilled there …..EXCEPT for one thing…..I didn’t spill it or I would have at least cleaned up the mess.
Since you have already seen this you might as well see this:
It is a picture of my refrigerator AFTER I took down my family pics. Except for the one taped to it.
The rest of the refrig is bare.
I HATE A WHITE BARE REFRIG.
I started to clean it when Danny pulled it out to look at the back of it. So now it is pulled out…..NAKED…Needs to be clean but I got sick ….Refrigerator that you all can see.
I have just decided I am BORED . Tired but I tried to lay down. That WAS a MISTAKE.
Brain is in high gear. Body is not.
So did I enjoy the ice cream?
You take a guess.
Are you singing a certain song?
If my internet wasn’t so slow…I would even post the song here.
did the ice cream improve on the day. For the moment.
The following is the view I am seeing today, sitting in my recliner in the enclosed porch.
THERE’S BEEN NO SUNSHINE IN THIS PART OF FLORIDA.
Having a relaxing , working on the blog and reading emails day.
Overwhelmed, Frustrated, Angry, Hurt, Upset And Always Emotional.
Today started off like so many other days when Danny is off and we have doctor’s appointments. Danny’s alarm went off about an hour before we NEEDED to get up. Then he did the “SNOOZE” thing for the next hour.
I will never understand “SNOOZE”.
I am not a morning person. I hate it. I seldom feel good.
Yet, when we have to get UP, I get up almost right away.
I do not want or need a “SNOOZE” button.
So I got up soon after the alarm went off.
I didn’t want to lay there getting irritated.
We had a good drive to the doctor’s offices. They are right NEXT to each other.
Back to back appointments.
In and out took awhile but we did it.
Everything went well.
Normal stuff. All routine.
On our way to eat. Danny took the back way through Davenport. A small town near where his old house was. He wanted to show me something NEW to both of us.
We had a good time here. Unexpected on my end. Danny wasn’t in a hurry. I was able to take pictures and I did.
More to come later.
Then Danny said we were going to ALL STAR’S.
My mood dropped.
One of the things I look forward to when we go to the doctor’s is :
we don’t go to ALL STAR BAR AND GRILL.
Don’t get me wrong. The food is great there. We are weekly or every other week regulars.
We usually sit at the same place AT THE BAR.
I drink ice tea most of the time.
Walmart is right across the street.
It is still a BAR. WE SIT AT THE BAR. I get tired of it.
Danny doesn’t always drink…he just likes sitting there. I don’t mind it.
We don’t shop ANYWHERE but Walmart. WHY?
I really don’t know except that it is the closest to our house . We can get Everything there at one trip.
YET, Danny hates it.
So we weren’t suppose to go to All Stars because we didn’t need to go to Walmart.
So where did we end up?
I did good.
I kept my mouth shut (for the most part).
We weren’t there long.
The ride home was good.
We had a nice few hours.
I asked Danny to get something for me to sharpen my clippers.
Clippers isn’t the right word but it’s one of those times I can’t think of the right word.
I never asked him to sharpen it. All I did was ask him to get a sharpener…Again, there is a better word but I forgot was it was.
I won’t go into it but Danny Blew Up.
It’s been a long time since we have had an argument like this.
I really meant to walk away even though it angers Danny. I didn’t want to fight. I didn’t want to YELL.
I never made it.
He said something and I blew up. Then I walked off. Crying.
The sitting down on the floor in the master bathroom SOBBING.
It didn’t end there.
We got past it. Danny acting as if it never happened . My walking around not saying much of anything.
He went to bed and is sound asleep.
I am awake, going over and over it.
Danny won’t say another word about the argument. He won’t ever say he is sorry. He isn’t.
I can’t say it this time. It would cause more negative things to be said.
So I need to just let it go.
This has just been a rather rough week.
Both of us are worn out from the heat.
I am always hot…even inside.
My nieces birthday was Monday (yesterday).
I talked to her and the kids. We messaged on Facebook.
All good. Except , I miss my family. We live so far away from everyone.
I miss Bobby, whose birthday is July 17 and he won’t be here once again.
I am doing ok there. Really. Outside. I wear my mask well.
I talked to my dad.
Now that was hard.
He is staying with my sister for the summer ……Health issues.
My parents got old the last few years.
Now Mom is gone.
Dad’s aged 10 years since then.
I am STUCK in Florida.
Everyone I love is in Illinois.
Or in Heaven.
I am still doing good.
Outside where everyone can see it.
Only thing is:
No one sees what is inside :
Not even Danny…..
I don’t see anyone else here except occasionally…….
I am working on the blog and other media sites.
No one even knows this :
Except for those of you HERE ON THE Blog.
Danny has no idea.
I have mentioned the blog: In passing.
He has never asked.
He shares everything about work.
Over and over again.
We don’t really share what is going on in
MY NECK OF THE WOODS.
In Sarah’s Attic Of Treasures.
He has heard me mention Sarah’s Attic.
He knows I post about the park.
He has never asked me anything about it.
I have over 10, 00 fans on FACEBOOK Sarah’s Attic of Treasures.
I have had them for 2 years now.
I must have done something RIGHT.
We use to share so much more.
We still talk for hours, Yet, he never asks what I do all day when I am not working.
No one around here knows.
No one knows
except for YOU.
I miss my old life.
I am trying so hard to improve things now…..In the present.
I want a future with Danny .
I want us.
I also want and need to be happy. To be understood.
To be loved.
I am loved.
Danny loves me.
Oh he loves me.
I have no doubt of that.
I love him.
I wrote more than what I intended to.
More than what I probably should.
Yet, Someone NEEDS to know.
I don’t know about the rest of you, but it has been a very busy morning here in Our Neck Of The Woods.
I tried a couple of times to go to sleep last night. After awhile I would get back up and go back to Dinkin’ Around. I can’t really say I cleaned anything. I wiped down a couple of counters. Did some dishes.
Tried to organize the few cookbooks I have here. Sad, because I use to have hundred’s of them. I just can’t seem to get the kitchen looking the way I want it to.
Worked on the computer. I actually made it to Facebook….my 2 Angel Mom Accounts and spent a short amount of time on each.
I just don’t have it in me to stay on either very long.
It’s a shame. I have a number of really good friends there. It’s just I keep seeing posts that bring me down.
So I got back off.
A few of them have followed my to Sarah Sue where I post Sarah’s Attic’s.
Ok, He really said, ” MOMAAAAAAAAAAM, I’m sleepy. “
Danny started another 7 day stretch this morning.
It was 74 as he walked out the door. It was HUMID. DAMP.
Laundry is getting done.
It’s the one thing I keep up with now.
Main reason: I only have a few things that fit me so I really don’t have a choice.
It is suppose to be raining right now. There is a 60 percent chance of rain this morning.
The SUN couldn’t be any brighter.
I have Danny’s picture of Sun tea outside.
I am working on mine right now.
Workin’ as in drinking it down.
That’s about it for now.
Have a wonderful Monday.
Smile. Brighten someone’s world today.
I am so tired but for once it is a good tired. Good because I am tired from DOING something, physical.
Yesterday I wrote how Danny and I were getting back to NORMAL .
(Normal for us anyway- we will NEVER be considered normal to MOST people we know- we actually like each other and spend hours a day with each other……even when we don’t get a chance to work together. We are hermits when we get behind our closed gates)
Back to early work days and early getting home…for Danny anyway. I spend most of my time right at home here on the ranch. That can mean anything. Home in the house, Home working in the yard or at the bunkhouse. Home mowing . Or working beyond the compound here.
Today, was a mixture of it all.
I was OUTSIDE for 5 hours. Much of that was on the lawn mower…..Then pulling weeds, mainly Caesar weeds. Watering. Taking care of the rabbit…..cleaning cages.
I miss riding the tractor.
I got the mowing done elsewhere (meaning the outlying areas and the back of the bunkhouse….Entrance and the drive in or out) in no time. Now I never get it all done.
We do live in a wonderful place that God Created. We are very fortunate to live here. Not many people ever see this piece of property.
We are ONLY caregivers. Hopefully sometime , in the NOT too Distant Future, we will be able to open sections of it to the public.
Horseback riding and hiking.
That’s it for this post.
The posts today should have taken me no time at all to do. The internet was slightly faster than snail pace….. Not quite that bad but pretty darn slow.
It was, still, noticeably faster for awhile. Go Figure.
Yet, My laptop went berserk. My fault because I should have taken care of the issues before I started posting today. Every few minutes it would lock up…at least the pages would lock up. It’s been doing this for a week now. Getting worse each day.
I could do a few other things but nothing I wanted or needed to do.
I told myself…as soon as I posted this ONE last post I would do a Restore on it.
I was putting it off because I will have to reinstall Norton and all of it’s UPDATES and all of the other updates installed the last month.
We all know what I am talking about. When computers work, and the internet works ….everything is hunkey dorey.
I like my desk top except for where it is located.
In the Living Room.
Where I really can’t see much outside and the walls are still bare and WHITE.
Issues with Danny there.
The desktop is hooked to the TV and we watch movies off the server . At least I watch them. Danny use to but hasn’t watched one in here since Christmas Eve.
So why is the TV and the desk top STILL in the living room and not in the enclosed porch where I want it? In case Danny wants to watch a movie . His Recliner is in the living room…
I could go on but you get the picture.
Anyway, the issues with the laptop COULD have been avoided sooner if I hadn’t been wanting to sit in the porch so I could look out the windows all day.
SO It was ALL my fault.
This desk top WORKS so much better than the lap top overall. WHY? It has Windows 7 ….Not Windows 8.1. It’s got more RAM . More everything.
I am rambling .About nothing important…Just a NORMAL chain of events for me.
The above picture is from the den. I sit there a lot with my newer laptop and use both computers. The French Doors are to the left.
Something From Nothing: The Art and Privilege of Camp Cooking.
This is an the first paragraph of this wonderful post:” It may be noted, at least from time to time, that we do like to get away from it all here at this blog. To pack up a modicum of supplies, and strike off for the distant bush lands of Minnesota’s northern most tier. A locale rich in quietude, and resplendent in its sky-tinted waters and vast elbow room for the soul. Canoe country. A million acre outdoor theater where the lonesome wail of the Loon echoes with impunity through the forest primeval. Where the whispering breezes murmur sweetly amid the lofty, Norway Pines; those magnificent wooden spires that which thrust high into a wild, blue sky. Canoe country. Where the slap of a beaver tail on still waters is heard over a quarter-mile span. Where a nap in the hammock whilst the pine-scented breeze whistles through your toe pits is at last your loftiest ambition for the day. Well you can see why we like it up here. And why it is we very occasionally aspire to get away from it all……..”
From Sarah: Please take a look at the whole post. You won’t be sorry you did. It’s wonderful.
From Sarah: I love to go camping. I wish Danny and I would take off and just go somewhere for a weekend or longer.
My parents took us camping a lot. I have awesome memories of one Easter week. The first part of the week was snowy and a mite cold. Looking back, I don’t remember the cold. I remember the fun we had.
I remember Easter Sunday. Warm. Sunny and Beautiful. We went to an out door service.
Bobby and his cousins and I use to go camping as well.
Old habits still there.
From Sarah: It’s been 12 years since we first met. 10 plus years that I started visiting Danny in Florida. Almost 9 years living with Danny. 9 years married,
I still feel like this.
What’s even worse: Danny feels it more than I do. He knows how much I really hate Florida……The climate. The heat and humidity are making me CRAZY.
1.I wrote this On November 22, 2013 On a blog I started back then. Somehow I couldn’t find it so I started a new one. https://sarahkasch.wordpress.com/2013/11/22/where-do-i-start/
Where do I start?
I’ve wanted to start a blog for a long time now. In fact, Somewhere, out there is at least one I started.
If you want perfect grammar, spelling and punctuation then you have definitely come to the wrong place.
In high school and college I was an English Major. I could write about almost anything. The words just flowed. Now as I turn 55 years old I am limited to what I can write and how I can write it.
My brain is often foggy. The words just don’t come and when they do they may not be the right ones.
There is a lot I want to say about myself.
I’ll be sharing my life, past and present.
I’ll be sharing my life here in Florida. The life I never thought I would be living. If someone would have told me I’d ever leave Colorado for Florida, I would have said they were crazy. Me, Living in Florida…..H… No. Never. Ever.
You know what they say about the word NEVER.
I will also be sharing Bobby.
My son. My only child.
I am an angel mom.
I am a wife.
I am forever changing.https://sarahkasch.wordpress.com/2013/11/22/where-do-i-start/
From Sarah: Here’s Number 2. https://sarahkasch.wordpress.com/2013/12/29/fumbling-around-here/
Fumbling Around Here
I am fumbling around here. I read other people’s blogs and wonder how they got there start. How did they figure everything out?
I remember first getting on FACEBOOK. A friend my hubby worked with at the time wanted me to connect there. To be her “Friend”. I really wasn’t sure what I was getting into.
I soon learned FB was a fun place to be. I had a lot to learn. For one thing, Everyone kept making Hearts using ❤. Easy enough.
Not for me. I just couldn’t get it right.
I’d hit< the #. I’d hit < then a space then 3.
I did it over and over.
I was told to just Copy and Paste?
Time to laugh here.
I had no idea how to C/P.
I never learned to type. I still peck away. Faster. Thank heavens for Spell Check.
Do you get the picture?
From Sarah: Number 3
Still Fumbling Around And More Confused Than Ever…
The more I look around the more confused I get. I know what a Gravatar Is but what is a Gravatar Blog and how did I get one on Word Press? Is my blog private or Public now? I have trouble finding the home page. Or seeing the posts like everyone does.
So many questions and the more I read the more confused I am.
I love how you can change the background.
The one I have is of our Cow Camp at Lake Kissimmee State Park. I will probably be changing it a lot. We have a beautiful piece of heaven on earth here and I love to show it off.
At least I can write a simple post. LOL
From Sarah: Number 4
Part 2 Of Fumbling Around Here.
I mentioned I was trying to figure things out.
I lost the first draft of this because I didn’t save it.
So now I am saving in sections. I need to figure out how to do one message…..saving while I go.
One thing you will learn very quickly, if you haven’t already.
I make lost of mistakes. In spelling, writing, grammar and punctuation. I also have trouble coming up with the words I want to say.
It’s very frustrating for me.
I was an English Major. I got A’s. I was good. Really good at expressing what I wanted to say.
I wrote short stories and sometimes got them published.
Then I had MIGRAINES For 2 years. Constantly. If I didn’t have a HEADACHE (The wanting to scream kind), I had the stomach problems that come after taking all the medicines.
It was a bad time.
I have other problems as well.
So if you expect perfection……This is not for you.
I WILL RAMBLE.
To get back to the original topic…..I had a lot to learn. I still have a lot to learn.
SO please bear with me.
From Sarah: Number 5
Danny’s Hospital Stay
No one should have to spend time in the hospital, yet at one time or another we all do. It is never convenient and we can never afford it.
Danny ended up in the hospital the week before Christmas. He was really sick.
We were praying he’d get out for Christmas Eve. Praying even more that everything would be alright.
God answered our prayers. He will be fine. He got home Around NOON Christmas Eve. Not the best Christmas and It won’t be the best NEW YEARS EVE/DAY but we are thankful to just be together.
From Sarah: Wednesday Early AM.
I posted a few reposts from other blogs on it as well but I won’t share those here.
Not really sure why I couldn’t access the first account. Months had gone by yet, I still had the name and password.
Today, somehow…..I found it in an old file. Then when I went to open this BLOG I couldn’t get on it.
Too many email accounts and passwords for AMYONE To HAVE.
If your mother has passed, I am sorry. It must be a tough day.
If you are estranged from your mother, I’m sorry. It must be a tough day.
If your mother was abusive, I’m really sorry. It’s a tough day.
If you had the kind of mother that loved you and was there for you, I am happy for you.
If you are a mother and your kids will recognize the day in some way, good for you.
If you have lost a child, you have my sympathy and prayers.
If you have children that could seem to care less, I’m sorry.
I just couldn’t let Mother’s Day go by. Without raining on the parade, I think it is important to remember that it is a not a good day for everyone. Do you know someone who could use a hug or a prayer today?
119 more words
My Comment Oh Her post.
Lily, I should have read this YESTERDAY. Or whenever it first came to my attention. But I wasn’t feeling positive about the day. I was in a dark place. The almost uncontrollable teary/moody/bitchy/emotional/Menopausal/Hormone and Grieving rollercoaster I get from time to time. Where I want to yell or scream at Danny (because he’s here and doesn’t say the words I need to hear…Happy Mother’s Day.} Danny is just Danny. If I were to ask him …he would have said them…This Year I decided not to BEG…SO I never heard the words.
Our phone lines were down…Thanks Verizon…..
So I couldn’t call My Dad. (Mom died less than a year ago). I couldn’t call my sister, my niece…No one.
I didn’t want a stranger to say the words although I almost wish someone had.
I can’t call Bobby. He’s in Heaven.
I had an awesome /magical childhood.
Mother’s Day along with Father’s Day were CELEBRATIONS. All Holidays were.
I kept the traditions up when I left home.
Bobby was awesome.
My mom always sent me a Mother’s Day card. Even after Bobby died. She understood. This year…..No Mother’s Card.
It was the knowing for weeks that I wouldn’t get THAT CARD that hurt. I wouldn’t be able to call her. I wouldn’t be able to hear her voice.
Yet, today : I remember HER. I see her smile.
I remember Bobby.
I rambled here…Again. Sorry.
Thank you for this post. I am sorry you had a rotten childhood….I am so very glad your children have you as their mom. Happy Mother’s Day.
Happy Mother’s Day to all of you.
This Mother’s Day isn’t here yet and it’s already been a tough one for me. This is the first year my mom won’t be here to call and talk to . It was always a much needed talk. Her birthday was May 5Th and I would call then also. We would share all the normal stuff. What her and dad were doing for her special day. Family. Everything.
On Mother’s Day… we did something a little different.
It will be 9 years on May 19Th, since my only child , Bobby went to Heaven. (He was almost 26).
SO on Mother’s Day….I still got a card….A reminder that I am still A MOM.
We would talk about Bobby, his Cousins as well as my brother, sister and I. Dad to of course. We couldn’t talk about family and not talk about him.
We would talk for hours, sometimes. Dad would get on as well.
I have plans to call my dad on Sunday.
It will be a tough one for both of us.
What will we talk about? Our Family and our wonderful memories.
Happy Mother’s Day !
This is from my Our Neck Of The Woods Facebook Pagehttp://www.facebook.com/sarahsneckofthewoods. Our Life. Lake Kissimmee State Park, Rolling Meadows Ranch and Allen David Broussard Catfish Creek Preserve State Park, Lake Wales, Florida. Where we work, live, play, cry and most of all Love each other.. Come and sit a spell. Danny and I share so much laughter and tears here, working and living here as we do. I needed a place to start downloading pictures I have taken over the years here. I need to write about them. I spend so much time wishing I was still living in Colorado that I forget what I have here. We really have a great life. I’m praying that once we finally get into the Cracker House things will get better-UPDATE- We are in the remodeled State Cracker House and it is better, although there are times I miss the RV. We lived it in for 5 years. It was home. It IS OURS…..I am also posting about Country Life in General and Florida in particular. Danny is a park ranger at Lake Kissimmee State Park. I volunteer there. I am a former teacher who misses being around kids.… I am mom who lost her only son, Bobby 9 years ago. I am a wife. I need to find me again. “Our Neck of the Woods” refers mostly to Rolling Meadows Ranch, were we live. It joins Lake Kissimmee State Park, on one side and Allen David Broussard’s Catfish Creek Preserve State Park on the other. We work mostly at LK and RM.
From Sarah Now. : Our Neck Of The Woods, Is all about Our Life in the last 10 plus years. All about Our area and it’s history. About Life in Florida. It is about Danny and Sarah. Life at or around the park.
Now, I have bits and pieces …nothing really fitting …Kind of the way I feel about my self any more.
I love the Word: Outlaster. I want to be an OUTLASTER. Not just here blogging away but in my life.
I got off the subject: This Post of Kristen’s. Read it. Please. Let’s all be Outlaster’s in the blogging world and in our won world at home.
From Sarah: Elizabeth’s timing on this post is perfect.
Menopause has not been good to me.
I was sitting at my desk here, waiting for Danny to come out of his Computer Room where he’s been tied up since we got home from Walmart. I’ve had a sinus headache all day. So my mood hasn’t been all that good. I’d tried laying down but couldn’t fall asleep. I just KNEW Danny was going to come out and say: “Are you ready for a glass of wine?” It’s been our habit to have a glass or so of wine every night. We both look forward to that. I usually have a few snacks ready as well.
This was my first read of the day.
I’d been thinking of ALL the words I wanted to say to him. The ones I really shouldn’t say. The angry, bitter or whining words.
Danny hasn’t done anything wrong. I could always go in and just ask “How much longer”.
Yet, I sit and ponder ALL those WORDS.
So Elizabeth: Thank you.
I love Getting Framed..
From Sarah: This is a must read for those of you who truly miss your hubbies when they are traveling . I really enjoyed Elizabeth’s story.
I have a love /hate time when Danny is forced to travel for the state . Fortunately, he doesn’t have to travel very much any more and when he does I usually get to travel with him. One advantage of being a Volunteer at the state park.
I love “My time” at night. I lived for most of my life as a single mom so I sometime DO MISS the evenings spent alone.
I READ or immerse myself in a series or marathon of movies.
I don’t have to make coffee . I am not a coffee drinker. I can’t stand the smell. Yet, I make it for Danny every night so he has it in the morning.
Danny and I email, send message over the phone, chat for hours when he is away. Just like we did for the 2 years before I moved to Florida.
We spend hours a day together when he is not home.
But then we spend HOURS together when he is home.
What I do Miss . We have a King Size bed and I usually end up with enough space to lay down and not fall out.
So you would think I’d crave the whole bed to myself.
I hate it. I really HATE IT. Danny will cuddle me ALL Night most nights……
I need that time with him…
I miss not being there when he walks out the door of where he is staying. I hate not watching his truck leave in the morning.
Then at night , I hate not seeing his truck coming back home from the park.
Every day, rain or shine…I watch him leave and then I watch him come home.
I am glad Danny does not have to travel very often . I am glad he chooses NOT to when he can. Or that I can tag alone at other times.
My name. Sarah or Debbie? If you ask my mom, She will say Debbie.
If you ask Danny or anyone here in Florida, I am definitely Sarah.
I even had the pastor include the name, Sarah, along with Debra Sue, in our wedding ceremony.
If you would have asked Bobby: All of his life, except for one time, he introduced me as Debbie, his mom. The one exception, when he met Danny. For some unknown reason, when he met Danny, Bobby told him to call me Sarah. He met Danny here in Florida on vacation. They got to be good friends even though Danny was my age. (Well, 4 years YOUNGER). So Danny has ALWAYS called me Sarah. ALWAYS. I am never Debbie to him. Not teasingly, not in anger, not at all.
I am Debra Sue Kasch. That is the name I was born with. I love the name and am very proud of it. I kept the Kasch for most things after I married Danny. At Danny’s request. The Kasch name died with Bobby. Or at least our link to the Kasch name died. So in honor of Bobby. In honor of my father, grandfather and all the Kasch’s before I still use Kasch except for legal stuff etc. As a child, I was called Debbie, Debbie Sue, Or Deb. My family and close family friends still am called that.
Classmate call me both. Growing up there were so many Debra’s, Deborah’s, Debbie and Debbie Sue’s. In high School there were over 20 of us. One day in fun, my best friend, Dan (different one of course) jokingly asked me what I wanted my first child to be named if it was a girl. I said Sarah Elizabeth. Or Rebecca Lee. So he started Calling me Sarah.
It caught on quickly and before I knew it I was being called Sarah by almost everyone I came in contact with. It just clicked with everyone.
I will never forget the look on my mom’s face when Dan was visiting us and he called me Sarah for the first time, in her hearing. OUCH!
She is never quiet if she has an opinion. Mom had one and let it be known that I was NOT SARAH but Debra Sue or Debbie . You get the picture?
I can still hear her say that. I remember my sister calling me that once. Another OUCH. That’s how I always thought of Mom’s words. OUCH. Like a burn. For the most part, no one called me Sarah, around my mom for many years…. To Dan’s wife and kids I was called both. Interchanging. Aunt Debbie. Aunt Sarah. Still Am. When I got on FB, It was 3 years after Bobby died. My personal site was Debbie-Sarah Kasch. I still have that one. I needed both names so people could find me.
When I met the Angel Mom’s I was Bobby’s MOM Debbie…….. Yet, here in Florida, I am Sarah.
They never knew Bobby.
Yes, It is confusing at times.
I was quieter then and didn’t post much. Imagine that? I certainly didn’t share myself or Danny to the world like I do now. I didn’t want to share Bobby with everyone. SO I stayed quiet for awhile. I reconnected with my classmates from High School. I added friends I’d known all my life. I added my friends here in Florida. Some continued to call me Debbie. Others called me Sarah. It took a few people awhile to realize I went by 2 different names. They thought I was 2 different people. I started getting questions. The angel moms for the most part are the ones who went from calling me Debbie, to Sarah, when I started sharing Our life here. When I started sharing Our Neck Of The Woods, (A page just for the Lake Kissimmee State Park, Rolling Meadows and life in Florida. History. Our Life), they started calling me Sarah more and more. I called myself Sarah. I can’t explain it better than that. I answer to either.
The name I miss most is MOM.
I never get called that any more. At least not very often. When I do it’s Dan’s kids or an old friend of Bobby’s.
Now about the pages:
Sarah’s Attic of Treasures and Debbie’s Attic of Treasures are the same except for the name. Exactly.
I have Our Neck of the Woods about Danny and I and our Park Life.
I have Sarah’s Life: What Was . Was is . What Will be. It’s about Life in Illinois, Colorado. Bobby, Danny and I. Mainly Bobby and I. It’s very small. Mainly for me.
I have Bobby’s Memorials. I also have a page called Getting To Know My Friends Through Our Children. It’s a page for grieving parents, grandparents. Etc.
Sarah Sue is the account I use for Sarah’s Attic Of Treasures and all of my pages, except The memorials.
It’s a fun account. It’s where I like to hide.
I am one of those people who seem to have a hard time keeping up with all the ways we connect to people : most of which we don’t even know. I have days, weeks and months when I just don’t get on here much at all. Here being the computer…..Then there are the days, weeks and months I am never far away. I can’t seem to find the right balance. Most of the time , I am quiet. Needing space yet needing to connect….Reaching out yet afraid at the same time. I could go on and on …
Is Any one Out there????????????????????????????????????????????