Making My Home A Haven is important to me. Sharing homemaking skills. Recipes and food. Bible Studies. This is a treasure chest of goodies. So take a seat. Have a glass of tea and enjoy. You will learn all about who I am.
Jami Belmont of Young Wife’s Guide is doing Make Over Your Mornings. She started it in a Facebook group this week.
I have gone through it once before, last January. Skipping around and not totally working through it.
All the pages from the workbook were printed out. But never filled in.
I wasn’t feeling all that great then. Tired and restless. I should have worked it then..All of it.
So for the next 2 weeks, I am going through it with Jami. You all, will be my accountability partners.
Danny just blows off anything to do with my blog….. my internet activites…. unless it has to do with trains.
Only part of the setup we have now.
I.will also be working through this course again starting on August 29, when Heidi Marahell. Hoping to really dig deep then. There are so many resources out there on morning routines. Evening routines. I read everything.
Anawins Blog
Morning Motivated Mom’s
Evening Routine
Morning Motivated Mom
Our schedule is crazy. Danny and I are both LATE LATE NIGHTERS. ( Which is good for us as a couple). We love to stay up late and sleep in late.
His late field days and the 5 days he is off every other week allows us to do this.
Danny manages getting up early 6 AM because he sleeps so soundly the few hours he has at night.Plus, in the summer months , especially, he takes long naps when he gets home from work.
I, on the other hand, don’t ever sleep well at night. Or I should say, I seldom , EVER sleep well, if I sleep at all.
I am an insomniac.
I am also at my best emotionally and physically at night. Even when I am in a lupus flair.
So I have learned to sleep when I can, for as long as I can.
So why am I working through Making Over Your Morning Course?
Because I need to learn to make the best of them. To enjoy them.
To make use of my quiet mornings by myself.
For Bible Study. In-depth Bible Study most days.
In the early mornings when Danny has to get up at 6 AM Or more accurately, when his alarm goes off at 6AM. He does not just get up.
No, the alarm goes off for at least 2 more times. If not 3 or 4.
That IRRITATES me to no end. I hate alarms.
Most mornings, if I am in bed , I get up before it goes off. Or as soon as it goes off the first time. I won’t lay around.
So I get up and I function on automatic pilot.
Mornings are easy for me because I have done everything the night before. (Except FOR THE DISHES) . They are rinsed well and stacked neatly.
I am working on this. I am getting better.
I love on Mr. Bojangles. Make sure he and the rabbit have plenty of water. The rabbit is in the kitchen for the summer.
Bible Study in the kitchen before Danny gets up.
The coffee is already made for Danny. I try NOT TO LET THE SMELL GAG ME.
I get his lunch out of the refrigerator and into his lunch box. Along with his drinks.
Next Bible Study until Danny gets up.
I stop everything when Danny first comes in to grab his coffee.
I stop it again when he comes in dress for work we visit as he is getting his boots on. His belt. Etc.
A kiss and he is off.
If I am not feeling well or really exhausted, I go back to bed. Then get up when I am ready to.
On good mornings like today, I continue my Bible study. Then I start on this course. I often take photos of the sun coming up. Of the glow from the lights in the early morning hours.
Me this morning.
I’ve moved into the living room where I can watch the sun come up. Watch the construction crew drive past..
The work radio is on..
The day has begun.
Happy Wednesday From Rolling Meadows Ranch And Our Neck Of The Woods.
I wrote a very short post yesterday after we got home from Avon Park.
I was in a dark place. It hit hard as soon as I walked inside the house.
I didn’t want to be there. I wanted to be anywhere but home. After Danny unloaded or rather helped me unload the car, he immediately headed to his computer room.
I lost it. Quietly. I never said a word. The blackness just enveloped me. All I could to was head to the couch and try to sleep.
Goodness knows, I needed the sleep. I rested.
I woke up this morning, feeling a lot better. That horrifying darkness was gone. My depression was still really bad.
I still kept it to myself. I wanted to tell or scream.
I was seriously wishing I would have stayed at the cabin by myself. I would have enjoyed it.
I keep adding updates to this LETTER TO DANNY. Not really a letter anymore with all of the UPDATES.
I still haven’t written on WHAT happened to us (REALLY ME) in FEBRUARY and WHY I have been very angry and bitter.
Betrayal is a nightmare. What’s worse is when the spouse (In this case, Danny, acts as if nothing is wrong. Like he hasn’t done anything wrong.)
In February of this year, I found out that Danny was sending Text Messages to other women. I thought his PORN use was bad enough. (That hadn’t been as much of a problem in the last few years.)
Some of these were SEX TEXTS.
He says it’s not cheating. That he isn’t doing anything wrong.
I say it IS CHEATING.
I say it is if for no other reason that I believe it is. That it is killing me. He is saying things to others that he should be saying to me.
It’s hurtful and downright cruel.
That’s all I want to say about it right now other than things have improved. It’s not taking over his every waking thought. He isn’t doing everything in front of me.
I set some rules down that he must follow. Not enough of them.
I have the means to leave now and that has been a blessing.
Sadly, it took my dad’s dying to be able to have the money to leave.
So, It’s a waiting season, for me at least.
His drinking got bad enough that Danny ended up in the hospital. AGAIN. Pancreatitis. This was the first of September.
Life has been different the last 2 months. He was in the hospital for 8 days.
Off work for a month. Soon after he left the hospital, he got GOUT in his FEET. He wasn’t able to get around without PAIN and TEARS.
He is NOT DRINKING.
UPDATED SEPTEMBER 2020 Danny Started drinking again Thanksgiving weekend , not long after this section was written. I told HIM I WOULD NOT VISIT HIM IN THE HOSPITAL IF HE GETS SICK AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!! ALL I WOULD DO WAS DUMP HIM OFF. Dump is the right word.
The rest was post last year.
Yet, the messages to others continue. Not the SEX STUFF. At least right now. I have been very angry and bitter the last few months.
Working on it.
Blogging and writing more again. Sharing.
I also started using essential oils.
Life goes on.
I will be sharing more and more of my life here. For me mainly.
Love And Hugs Sarah
The rest are older posts and the original LETTER TO DANNY.
Updated. August 3, 2019
Some things have changed for the better since I last wrote this letter.
Life at the park is a little better than before. We have a new Assistant Manager. Well new 3 years ago. She is amazing.
For me though, it’s HELL.
Mainly things out of my control.
Danny finally got me on his cell phone plan. Verizon. So I got a new phone.
Another phone and number. LOL
Shortly after I wrote the first letter to Danny, I bought a good used cell phone and got Twigby
I had phone service and data.
Data is important because our internet connection at it’s best is only 1G. Usually it’s .05 or less.
Or nothing at all.
Although at the moment , Nothing is working well here.
Not on either phones.
I bought a better camera and finally a new laptop. Not as good as I need but better than the ones Danny bought me.
I have been back to Illinois 2 different times.
Once in November of last year. Danny was with me. We were there almost a month.
It was wonderful to be on the family farm again.
To spend quality time with family.
Dad. Donna and Jim. My niece and nephews and their families.
I called a few friends but didn’t visit with them then. I needed family time.
Danny and I needed time together. We need time away from Lake Kissimmee State Park and Rolling Meadows Ranch.
Away from the radio.
AWAY together.
We had a wonderful time. We stayed in a motel in Grafton. It overlooked the Mississippi River.
We traveled the back roads of my childhood. Ate Catfish and fritters. Frog Legs. Home cooking. We shared meals together.
(We had a great time.
We had a lot of heartbreak there as well.
I promise, I will talk about the visits to Illinois.)
We seldom eat together in Florida.
Danny eats in his computer room at all hours. Refusing any kind of meal time together.
I grew up with family meals.
Lively meals. We laughed . Told stories. Caught up with everyone and their day.
I miss that almost more than anything.
Things changed drastically after the New Year. Honestly, I still don’t understand it.
I am not up to writing about it now, other to say that Danny is NOT the same. He is going through a terrible mid-life crisis. Male Menopause.
Everything that has been wrong all these years is worse. Everything Danny thinks is Okay when I KNOW it’s morally wrong ……It’s worse.
I feel sorry for anyone who has lived through betrayal and hurt.
It’s a lonely life here for me.
I went back home to Grafton In May. I scheduled it so my sister and her husband could go to Idaho for 2 weeks. I wanted to be there a week or so before they left and a week or so after they came back. I wanted to be there for Mother’s Day. Bobby’s Angel Day on May 19th.
Danny was asked to go along.
By the time I left Florida, I was thankful he had stayed home.
I really didn’t want to go home to him when I finally had to.
I will write more about both trips soon.
I will say that while I was in Illinois, my dad died.
Danny took a plane there a week later so we could drive my Dad’s car back to Florida.
He was in Illinois overnight. That’s It.
I couldn’t even enjoy the ROAD TRIP home. I got a MIGRAINE. SICK THE WHOLE TIME.
The really important things have deteriorated so badly, that I know in my heart I should leave.
I would be a lot happier if I left him. Left Florida.
Where would I go?
Good question?
Colorado?
I always wanted to move back to Colorado. I dream of being in the mountains again. I long for it.
4 Seasons. All Mild.
I would see snow. I wouldn’t be burning up 350 or more days of the year. It’s not as humid.
The mountains call my name.
They always have.
What about my hometown?
Grafton?
I love the family farm, but my sister and her husband own it now. They have plans to sell most of it and move to Idaho.
My niece and nephews and their families live in Illinois.
I have friends there.
My home church is there.
I have choices.
Writing as if I were writing to Danny again. :
Danny,
I don’t need you to be happy. I was perfectly content living in Colorado when Bobby was alive. I would have managed very well if I had never left it.
I didn’t know until you told me a few months ago, that my dad had told you to get me as far away from Colorado when he and my mom came out the week Bobby died.
THANK YOU for Following Dad’s advice.
Yet, in all honesty, Dad was wrong.
He meant well.
When he saw me a few days after Bobby died, all he saw was a shell of myself.
A wreck. Someone who wasn’t able to close her eyes because all she saw was Bobby lying on the floor in his apartment. Dead.
All I could smell was death.
When I went back to close up the house a few months after moving to Florida, I couldn’t wait to see everything . I was HOME in Colorado.
Yes, Bobby was everywhere. I loved that part.
What I remember most is the joy I felt coming HOME.
I was happy. Yes, I was grieving. I would have grieved no matter where I was.
I missed you while I was there those 2 weeks. I made sure I was back in Florida for Easter weekend.
I hated leaving Colorado.
I left in a snowstorm.
It was in the upper 80’s when I got to Florida.
My heart was still in Colorado. I shouldn’t have had to choose between you or Colorado.
The following is an old post.
I wrote the following section 2 years ago.
During a very lonely night of missing Bobby, Missing US, Missing Me. This was a post I never meant to share.
I rambled. I was open and honest. Too honest, maybe…Not honest enough…. It’s emotional. Heartfelt. A Mom who misses her child.
A few things have changed since I wrote this.
Our Assistant Manager Left last month.
Charlie Left last year.
Danny really HATES what has happened at work. He still loves Lake Kissimmee State Park and being a Park Ranger. He Hates many of the changes that have been made and the ones that never seem to change.
I have cell service. Sort of : TextNow.
I bought a refurbished Samsung S4.
Danny bought me a DSLR Camera for my birthday.
WHY? So I could start taking photos of Train Activities. And It was Cheap.
Not complaining because at least I have one now.
I went home to Illinois.
For Mom’s memorial service.
We were suppose to go to Arizona to see my dad in October of last year.
The money was supposed to have been SAVED.
We couldn’t go. Not our fault.
But the MONEY I had put aside for it IS GONE.
Danny, you promised to save it and not spend it.
It was money from Dad anyway. For Me.
It was the ONLY thing I insisted on when I got my Christmas Check. The ONLY THING.
We still have good times. A lot of them. The simple every day moments.
I haven’t been happy. It’s not all your fault. Depression is a horrible thing. Yet, I cover it well when you are home. I keep things going.
I am sorry for the weight gain.
Do you ever walk with me?
The only time we ever walked together is when we walked Mittens.
She has been dead for almost 3 years.
I don’t remember you ever asking me “How My Day Went”….Not here in Florida.
You never ask me about anything PERSONAL.
From Sarah
Please Pray for me. I love Danny. I know he loves me.
THE FOLLOWING IS THE ORIGINAL LETTER I WROTE TO DANNY. (Of course, It was never given to him).
MY ORIGINAL LETTER TO DANNY.
Written:
Thursday, September 17, 2015
Dear Danny,
We each made promises before and after I moved here to Florida. You were so different back then and I know I was as well.
We had the world at our feet. We really did. We even had the money to make most of our dreams come true.
I know that the chances of you ever finding another job in the Park Service that included a house or a mobile home not on top of other employees would be hard. I have looked at ALL of the parks. I have had years to look around.
We are fortunate to live where we do. We have a house, We live alone for the most part on 7 thousand areas. We have the park to call our own as well as Catfish Creek. I don’t know of anyone one else who can say they sit in the middle if 25 thousand acres.
We see more animals in our own yard than most people see in a lifetime. Danny, I would miss this house and what we have here. You know that. I would hate living in town again. With PEOPLE.
You have seen me wither away bit by bit every year as the summers get longer, hotter and wetter. You have seen what it does to me.
You have seen the tears I have shed. I am an outdoor person who lives inside most of the year.
Why do I understand why you stay here and yet, you won’t admit how much I need to leave?
Danny, You aren’t even happy here any more. You still enjoy the work. You just can’t stand the fact that you are the ONLY one who is really doing their part. At least Andi is starting to come round. Mark is only going to get worse. If that is possible. Big Josh won’t grow up. How many split shifts did you have to do this week because he took off his late field week? That is NOT going to change. Charlie, (And you know I love him like a brother) is so tired of the park that he isn’t going to get any better. He will always take off weekends and holidays. Why shouldn’t he? He has a new wife and her son and a small ranch of his own to take care of.
Unlike Us who never do anything. They have a life and working together.
Our managers certainly are not going to change. They have had 9 years to change.
I have kept ALL of my promises. Every single one of them.
Can you say the same thing? Remember, I have all of our letters, notes, emails and postcards. Every last one of them.
Have you kept any of them?
OK, You promised to always love me and I know that you do
What happened to our dreams? Our plans?
Danny, Bobby died while I was making plans to move here. I never backed down. Never wavered from our plan. Yes, I had to delay moving to Florida. Yes, we had to delay the wedding for a few months.
I came as soon as I could get his affairs taken care of. AFFAIRS, How I hate that word, no matter how it is used.
He died in May and I was here the week before Thanksgiving. I even came the week we were suppose to have been married. I was here exactly as planned. I just had to go back.
Danny, I had to close down our house, Bobby’s apartment and bury my son.
What did you have to do?
I will always be thankful you were there with me right after he died. No One, No Parent, No Mother, should have have to say goodbye to their child, although, if you remember I refused to say goodbye to him.
Hell week.
I remember more of it than you think I do. I remember you holding me for hours when I couldn’t I remember my parents going in to say their goodbyes. Oh Danny, Dad cried. He cried because of Bobby and because he knew he couldn’t help me get through it. . I remember later dad telling me how glad he was that you were there.
You told him that you would never let me cry if you could help it.
YOU LIED.
Not once, since I moved here have you held me when I was crying unless I asked you to. Not once.
You have intentionally let me cry.
.
You were the one who found Caladonna’s and took care of everything. I just had to sign for things.
Did I ever thank you for insisting that I see him that day? I wasn’t going to. I didn’t want to see him.
You told me that I would never get the image of him lying there in his apartment out of my mind (and I haven’t), but that I need to see him one last time. I had to talk to him.
The tears have been falling for awhile now.
You were right. I had to have one last talk with my son.
I remember my parents going in to say their goodbyes. Oh Danny, Dad cried. He cried because of Bobby and because he knew he couldn’t help me get through it. . I remember later dad telling me how glad he was that you were there.
You told him that you would never let me cry if you could help it.
YOU LIED.
Not once, since I moved here have you held me when I was crying unless I asked you to. Not once.
You have intentionally let me cry.
Danny, You promised I would be able to get my things. That we would drive them back here together. No the fire there WAS NOT your fault. It was your fault that we never made it back there that first year
What happened to us going to Colorado. Climbing Pikes Peak. I was healthy enough to still do it until 3 -4 years ago.
Visiting MY FAMILY OUT WEST and in ILLINOIS?
Those were the main things I asked for.
The most important ones.
Except for AC. You have kept that promise. I have AC.
Why did it take you till this summer to put the AC in the kitchen?
I don’t ask for much. You say that all the time. So why do you give me such a hard time about everything I do ask for? I have asked for cell phone service and a decent camera. I got a camera that wore out in a year. I never did get a cell phone service. The only one I have ,someone gave me because I needed a camera.
Remember, You had me give up A T&T (which worked better here than Verizon did/does) so I could get on your plan. It never happened. You came up with excuse after excuse.
I am sorry I am sick most of the time any more.
I understand what that does to you. I get that.
I understand that you weren’t expecting to get the job at Lake Kissimmee State Park. I really understand why you took it. Why we weren’t going to take that first year and travel.
I was glad about the job. It also meant I was STUCK here in Florida.
What happened to us?
What went wrong?
You asked me to leave Colorado and the home I had there. A house I had lived in for years. Raised my son in. You asked me to leave Bobby and all the wonderful family and friends I had there or nearby.
I left a a stay at home job I loved. Teaching was everything to me. You saw the Homeschool/ daycare/preschool. I made more money 12 years ago than you do now with the park service. A Lot more.
I gave up the Special Lupus Program that had paid for almost everything.
You knew how much I hated being hot. We talked for months about that. You knew I left Illinois and the farm I loved because I couldn’t handle the heat and humidity. Medically couldn’t handle it. That was 23 years before. I was younger then. Healthier.
You promised me over and over again, if I couldn’t handle it in Florida, we’d leave it.
You promised.
We are fortunate to live where we do. We have a house, We live alone for the most part on 7 thousand areas. We have the park to call our own as well as Catfish Creek. I don’t know of anyone one else who can say they sit in the middle if 25 thousand acres.
We see more animals in our own yard than most people see in a lifetime. Danny, I would miss this house and what we have here. You know that. I would hate living in town again. With PEOPLE.
You have seen me wither away bit by bit every year as the summers get longer, hotter and wetter. You have seen what it does to me.
You have seen the tears I have shed. I am an outdoor person who lives inside most of the year.
Why do I understand why you stay here and yet, you won’t admit how much I need to leave?
Danny, You aren’t even happy here any more. You still enjoy the work. You just can’t stand the the fact that you are the ONLY one who is really doing their part. At least Andi is starting to come round.
Mark is only going to get worse. If that is possible. Big Josh won’t grow up. How many split shifts did you have to do this week because he took off his late field week? That is NOT going to change. Charlie, (And you know I love him like a brother) is so tired of the park that he isn’t going to get any better. He will always take off weekends and holidays. Why shouldn’t he? He has a new wife and her son and a small ranch of his own to take care of.
Unlike Us who never do anything. They have a life and working together.
Our managers certainly are not going to change. They have had 9 years to change.
I have kept ALL of my promises. Every single one of them.
Can you say the same thing? Remember, I have all of our letters, notes, emails and postcards. Every last one of them.
Have you kept any of them?
OK, You promised to always love me and I know that you do
What happened to our dreams? Our plans?
.
Hell week.
I remember more of it than you think I do. I remember you holding me for hours when I couldn’t I remember my parents going in to say their goodbyes. Oh Danny, Dad cried. He cried because of Bobby and because he knew he couldn’t help me get through it. . I remember later dad telling me how glad he was that you were there.
You told him that you would never let me cry if you could help it.
YOU LIED.
Not once, since I moved here have you held me when I was crying unless I asked you to. Not once.
No the fire there WAS NOT your fault. It was your fault that we never made it back there that first year.
I remember my parents going in to say their goodbyes. Oh Danny, Dad cried. He cried because of Bobby and because he knew he couldn’t help me get through it. . I remember later dad telling me how glad he was that you were there.
You told him that you would never let me cry if you could help it.
YOU LIED.
Not once, since I moved here have you held me when I was crying unless I asked you to. Not once.
You have intentionally let me cry.
No the fire there WAS NOT your fault. It was your fault that we never made it back there that first year.
Danny, You promised I would be able to get my things. That we would drive them back here together.
What happened to us going to Colorado. Climbing Pike’s Peak. I was healthy enough to still do it until 3 -4 years ago.
Visiting MY FAMILY OUT WEST and in ILLINOIS?
Those were the main things I asked for.
The most important ones.
Except for AC. You have kept that promise. I have AC.
Why did it take you till this summer do put the AC in the kitchen?
I don’t ask for much. You say that all the time. So why do you give me such a hard time about everything I do ask for? I have asked for cell phone service and a decent camera. I got a camera that wore out in a year. I never did get a cell phone service. The only one I have someone gave me because I needed a camera.
Remember, You had me give up A T&T (which worked better here than Verizon did/does) so I could get on your plan. It never happened. You came up with excuse after excuse.
As usual, I got off the subject. I was talking about our plans.
OUR PLANS.
Do you realize that you have never asked me what I thought about any of the big decisions that have been made in the last 9 years that I have been here? Most of the time we had talked about them for months. But you never really asked how or what I felt. Not once.
What happened to those DREAMS OF YOURS that became my dreams?
Want me to list them?
You promised me we’d travel the US in the RV.
Maybe not the whole US but at least out of Florida.
You promised we would go back within a few months and bring mine and Bobby’s belongings back.
Danny, I can’t blame you for the wildfire that destroyed the house where everything was stored.
Yes, there is a huge part of me that is angry about it.
I lost everything except what I had brought with me in 2 suitcases on 3 different plane trips here That is 6 suitcases. 6 suitcase. Everything I owned. Everything of Bobby’s.
I don’t ask for much. You say that all the time. So why do you give me such a hard time about everything I do ask for? I have asked for cell phone service and a decent camera. I got a camera that wore out in a year. I never did get a cell phone service. The only one I have someone gave me because I needed a camera.
Remember, You had me give up A T&T (which worked better here than Verizon did/does) so I could get on your plan. It never happened. You came up with excuse after excuse.
I am sorry I am sick most of the time any more.
I understand what that does to you. I get that.
I understand that you weren’t expecting to get the job at Lake Kissimmee State Park. I really understand why you took it. Why we weren’t going to take that first year and travel.
I was glad about the job. It also meant I was STUCK here in Florida.
We had 2 vacations and 2 wonderful 3 day weekends in Daytona, One vacation was before I moved here. So was the first Daytona 500. That means we had ONE vacation and One 3 day weekend in Daytona after I left Colorado.
Yes, I agreed that Daytona was too expensive and too busy.
The vacation we did take was in August to Pine Island. We went fishing on a boat in 90 degree weather.
Hell week.
Sorry but even you said that it was.
You just had to go then.
That was in 2008.
Yes we went to Disney 2 times. I loved them both, One was before I came here. The other was when we still lived in Day Use. We went with other volunteers.
I loved both days with you there. They were wonderful and magical.
We haven’t been to the coast or the Atlantic since we went for work.
We haven’t been anywhere except for work. The last time we got away from here was 3 years ago. We worked at Lake Louisa on the trails.
We worked our butts off and yet we had so much fun. Remember that cabin?
We’ve been offered it a number of times since then.
It is less than 2 hours from here. Yes, I know there is traffic all the way. So take 17 as far as we can. It is not bad from then on.
I know I am coming down on you but once I got started I couldn’t stop.
And I left out a few IMPORTANT things.,
You know what they are.
Look back to what I promised you. Have I broken ANY of them?
Have I not followed through on them? On everyone of them.
I told you I could be a “Bitch” At least I work hard not to be. And when I am, I apologize before during and after.
Goodness knows I have my faults.
I have plenty of them.
Danny, It doesn’t cost anything to go on a picnic. We have to eat anyway. We have plenty of places HERE to have one.
We haven’t been fishing since we left the park. Your boat has sat here rotting for the same amount of time.
We never go left on 60. There are a few places just down the road a ways that we have never been to. We always go to Lake Wales.
What happened to you?
I love our quiet times here at home. I miss family meals. You know how important they are to me. Yet, most of the time I eat alone. I usually sit with you no matter how late you are up.
I know you love me.
What happened to the person who enjoyed making me smile> All I need is a hug. A touch. Ok I get the no touching. A kind word . A thank you.
Danny, I try so hard to be the women, wife, girl and bedtime person that you want me to be. My whole life revolves around you. ”
I am not saying we don’t have good times. We just don’t have many. We still talk for hours and hours. Or rather you do because I am not working with you so what I do any more doesn’t interest you. You have no idea what I do all day.
NONE.
The Following Was Written 5 Years Ago. The first part was all about my childhood crushes. My love of Journaling and Scrapbooking. Music : Record Players to Cassettes and So On. Bobby. Lots Of Photos Of Our Early Days At Lake Kissimmee State Park And Rolling Meadows Ranch. The RV. Before And After Photos of the Cracker House we now live in. Vittles and Mr. Bojangles.
September 14, 2015.
Writing 101 – Assignment For Day 6 : The Space to Write ( AND So Much More) – Monday, September 14, 2015
Most everything here was written Monday Afternoon / evening when I wasn’t feeling all that great yet, needed to write. Day 6: The Space To Write
“Where do you write? Do you prefer blogging on your laptop in a coffee shop? Are you productive in a quiet room, door closed, away from civilization? Today, describe the space where you write. Or, if you don’t have a dedicated place, what is your ideal setting?
Consider these questions to shape your post:
What are your writing habits?
What equipment or supplies do you use to write?
What do you need and want in a physical space?”
Everything above here is from WORDPRESS Including the photo.
This ONE Photo here was taken the day BEFORE we got this ASSIGNMENT. The Space TO WRITE. Here you see my laptop. 2 Books. A Journal. And 2 notebooks. As you will see, I can work anywhere…… But I always have a journal, notebooks, books and a computer. To the right of this picture lay several ink pens. A pencil. And My DIET PEPSI. I added a bunch of photos of the house and wrote about it here tonight, Wednesday, September 16, 2015. It is almost midnight so by the time this gets out it will be Thursday. This is my life when I am not working at the park or here at Rolling Meadows. I write or do things on the computer. HUGS Sarah
I have always been able to write pretty much anywhere. I remember being 10 or 11 and cutting images out of The TV Guide of what I was watching. What guy I liked. For a long time it was shows like Here Come The Brides With Bobby Sherman.
Of course , my favorite singer has always been Elvis. I can’t honestly say I had a crush on him , though.
My other favorite was Michael Cole Of Mod Squad . Oh did I ever have a crush.
I would read about them. I would write things down about whatever happened that night on TV. I would get the section out of the TV Guide and tape it into the diary. I kept every part of my life in there.
As a teen I always carried 2 books and at least 2 notebooks plus my diary which at some point became journals. Plus pencils and pens.
I was always babysitting and would take everything for when the kids went to bed. I’d get comfy in a recliner or another chair
I have never not had a back pack ready to go. Even now, I have a work backpack. When I was living at home, I had a room with book shelves all around the room. A record player and a cassette player were my 2 must haves for studying I listened to music while I did my homework. While I wrote my stories. See the “Yellow Thingy ” on top of the record player with the 8-track player. That was for your 45’s. Picture Below. I am old enough to have 75’s. Danny has a favorite Saying /Question for people Nowadays. Do the numbers 33 and a third , 45 and 75 mean anything to you?
Anyway, As long as I had paper, something to write with and music going , I was happy writing. I wrote about our camping trips. Our visits to grandma’s house. On my first trip to Colorado on the BUS, I wrote the all the way there. When I wasn’t writing I was reading.
My first road trip by myself. Alton, Illinois to Colorado. On the bus. 2 days. I wrote til my hands hurt. It was a bumpy ride.
When I got to my grandma’s I had my own room upstairs,plus I took over their book room downstairs. It had a desk in it.
I had my portable cassette player. I was 12. Maybe 13. I was in heaven.
High School.
I started writing about all of our high school events. I was in a number of writing clubs. On the yearbook committee.
And so it continued.
Life With Bobby .When Bobby came along, I just got a bigger back pack. I was in college then.
I had a desk in my bedroom in the first house I lived in with Bobby. I also used the kitchen table for writing. I remember Bobby asking for his own desk. He was 7. An adult desk to do his writings on. My dad made one for him. Pint size but like mine. Bobby would write stories. I moved mine into the dining room. He put his desk there also.
My half of the room was decorated for me. His section had his train set and books. It became the library. I was teaching then and writing for the newspapers.
That table was also our table that we ate off of so I constantly had to clear my computer and any work I was going off of it so we could eat. That was MY SPOT to write in the RV. Always. I could look out the windows on 3 sides of the RV and see the wildlife around.
I took over the table. I left Danny a spot on his side of the table for meals. If I was using it during the day, it was cleaned off at night where we ate. I always put my computer up. Always. I tried very hard to leave the table cleared of my computer and notebooks. The seat of the table was filled with books and work “Stuff.” Underneath was as well. I kept our leg room cleared. Danny’s side of the seat had a little less ”Stuff”. I was volunteering at the park full time back then and helping Danny with his “Stuff” on the computer.
“Stuff “is a word I use when I can’t think of another word to use.
I may or may not re-write this. Fibro fog is a part of who I am. This afternoon, hasn’t been good. I wore myself out this morning, but it was so worth it. Considering the lack of space we had in the RV, I kept the Kitchen table/ desk as straightened up as normal person could. You can be the judge as to what “NORMAL” is.
Working oh Schedules and Time Sheets. Diet Pepsi . The radio was always there as well. My Writing Area. My everything area. The Kitchen and the view outside Looking straight ahead to the iving Room and the windows there Still sitting at the table.
When we were living at the park in our Day Use/Marina area.I would often take my computer down to the marina. At that time I had MY OWN CELL PHONE and I used
it for internet. The park didn’t get the internet passed the Ranger’s Station.
Lake Kissimmee State Park’s Wooden Bridge- Zipprer Canal My smartphone= No Phone service but if there is internet I henpeck away. The Concession Building . It was closed most of the time back then. I loved to sit there and type away. The Boat Ramp.
I loved to Sit at the concession building and write. I watch the gators and the other animals . Plus the boats coming in and out. There was one other spot I would go. Usually with just my phone. Down to the wooden bridge. I could sit there for hours. When I did take the computer there I wrote some of my best “STUFF”.
My Gateway. Bobby gave it to me, The Den a looking through to the kitchen then the porch. This is how it looked when I first started using the house for my writing. The old French Doors. I loved them but they were water damaged. The stove didn’t work. Before I started cleaning it up. If you notice, bottom right……there is a bale of hay for the rabbit. the island between the main part of the kitchen and the Break Nook.
At some point, I decided to clean up the kitchen and the den of the closed up house we now live in. That is a story by itself. I have posted about the renovation of the Cracker House. Once I got done cleaning and fixing it up the best that I could, I put what books I had and much of my writing things, journal and notebooks in the bookcase. I moved one of my recliners (I have 2) in the den and the other in the kitchen . A table from a friend was put in the kitchen with it’s matching chairs. I brought my computer….My GATEWAY my son bought me… and set it up on the table . I had my own little place to read, write, listen to MY music. Danny always sat in his recliner in the RV. Always. Laptop on his lap.
Danny and Mittens The RV and The House AFTER they started working on it. The Breakfast Nook Of The Kitchen Before anything was done to it. Old windows. A blue tarp over the roof because the roof leaked.
I was in heaven.
Until the door open and Danny came in.
Have I ever said, my hubby doesn’t mind closing himself off to the world and myself, BUT, He does not like to be by himself? He won’t admit it. But he doesn’t. I was literally at his beck and call in the house. It was that close to the RV.
Same photo. That is how close I was to Danny. I was right inside the backdoor of the house. He was in his recliner in the RV. We were able to yell back and forth. We also had /have our own Rolling Meadows Station on the radio….just for us….. Yes, he radio’d me.
The RV and The House AFTER they started working on it.
So here I had my own spot where I could go and have some room. A little space. Much of the time I was in the house so was Danny. Good thing I love him.
Sitting outside the RV while they worked on the house. Yes, I can write anywhere I had gotten this wine for my birthday. For some reason, I drank it that day. ALL BY MYSELF outside while everyone worked on the house, I never drink by myself. LOL SEE THE RADIO.
When It was nice out, meaning late fall, winter and early spring, I was also using the picnic table under the awning. I always kept a nice bright tablecloth on it and a flower pot with NON -NATIVE plants in it. Another story for another time.
The side of the house. To the left is the kitchen and dining room . The window you see was taken out, (Living room) It had a view of NOTHING BUT THE HOUSE. In front of Danny is the MASTER BATH AND BEDROOM and Laundry Room. The Back Of The House. The Front Of The House
I was able to plug it in out there as well. I loved it there. Danny stayed inside, in his chair.
Early days In the House. This was the other room I use while we were living in the RV. Early Days In The House. We weren’t living in it yet. So everytime I went to the house my computer came with me.
After we were in the house (4 years ago) and the RV was still there, I did things in reverse. That was an awesome arrangement. This time Danny stayed in the house and left me alone.
The Breakfast Nook Of The Kitchen Before anything was done to it. Old windows. A blue tarp over the roof because the roof leaked.
To the right is the Kitchen Before the new flooring was put in. I liked the old flooring better but it was worn out in the main kitchen section. New windows in the house.
Outside you can barely see the old car port.
I had my computer table looking out into the living room for the first years or so, In what we still call the dining room but will probably never be one.
MY AREA. The radio is on the ledge. My soda is on the right, Everything I needed to work was right there.
I CRIED AND CRIED AND CRIED. I was happy in that RV in a way I have never been in the house.
Two years ago, we moved the RV to the shop at Rolling Meadows…Miles away.
Back in the house I went. I really HATED to see the RV go. It was OUR HOME. We had the best times there. It was OURS. The Cracker House comes with the job. Big difference.
I had My Gateway, although it was wearing out and had XP.
My Gateway
(Man I love that XP computer. I baby it now. It still works well for it’s age.) Danny bought me a desktop computer. Windows 7 .
My refubished desk top and our small bedroom TV that was never used in the bedroom. My Gateway. At one end of the table is a FirstGeneration iPad. No Camera. I can’t upload but I love to use it for a JOURNAL. I also love to play music on it.
See the Radio and my Diet Pepsi. (There are many times I drink herbal tea…..usually watered down) . If It is dark in color, it is Diet Pepsi.
Behind my laptop is my external hard drive.
Computer, Radio and Diet Pepsi. Little did I know when I took ALL of these photos that I would some day be using them like this. Another view of the table. Sarah’s Room. The Den. The Dining Room. My room Br. Bojangles usually sits near me or in my lap when I write there, Guess who is Underfoot?
Shortly after the RV went to the shop and I was in the house all the time…Enjoying using the Desktop more and more ……Saving my BELOVED GATEWAY that BOBBY bought me…….Danny decided to Use MY DESKTOP AND THE TV (IN THE LIVING ROOM) As Part of an ENTERTAINMENT CENTER.
He said it was still MY DESK TOP …..It just had to be in the living room so we could watch NETFLIX off of the desktop. Also the movies he was downloading to the SERVER. (WHICH is ANOTHER OLD DESKTOP ,WITH A NEW MONITOR-SITS ON THE FLOOR IN THE LIVING ROOM.)
So MY DESK TOP was moved into the darkest room of the house. The room I have never liked. For a few months, we watched movies almost every night. So it was worth it. I still had my desktop for my use except for movie time…
THEN DANNY STARTED USING THE LARGE EMPTY BEDROOM AS HIS COMPUTER ROOM.
YEAH.
OR SO I THOUGHT. LOL
The desktop took me forever to learn. It was really hard for me. It had too much “STUFF” on it. Danny had to add extra RAM. Extra everything. It was missing lot’s of features that my GATEWAY HAD.
And when I got tired of watching more war movies and other ones I really didn’t want to watch I went back to my GATEWAY mumbling about losing my computer.
Mumbling worked. I got a cheap laptop. It doesn’t have all the bells and whistles that my Gateway has or the ram etc of the desk top.Or a CD player. I didn’t have to BABY it which meant I moved it everywhere I went again. Back to the kitchen. These pictures here were just taken this summer. We have Central Air but it doesn’t cool off the kitchen. It gets up to 88 degrees in there NOW. Danny finally put in a WINDOW UNIT FOR ME. FOR US. So Now I am often in the kitchen . I also am in there every afternoon or evening waiting for Danny to come home from work. SO the computer is usually there as well.
My year laptop in the kitchen. I was waiting for Danny to drive up.
My drink of choice-
Diet Pepsi
The view from the kitchen To the porch Danny pulling in
I Always keep the Gateway in the den. It is close to the kitchen. I play solitaire on it. (THE ONLY GAME I PLAY. PERIOD.)
Playing Solitaire on it.
This desk has a little set of drawers next to it. I have 3 of those. One for every area I usually sit at. I use this desk area for work for the park. I keep my papers and the schedules there.
The book shelves never got put back in. Family Photos. The large one is Danny, The candle and basket was from Mom’s memorial service. Mr. Bojangles and Vittles. My work calendar
The Den Favorite Photos Watching the Carolina Wrens
There is a beautiful set of French Doors there giving me an awesome view and lot’s of sunlight.
The deer by the French doors.
The desktop mentioned is in the living room, close to the enclosed porch, where I usually sit and am now sitting to write this. On newer laptop. It is close enough that I watch my movies on the desktop with the TV. I just turn it towards the porch.
You can see all the way thru the house as you walk in the front door. See ll the light coming from the French doors. The Server, computer and monitor are behind the chairs by the bookcase.
I don’t like the living room. There are doors on every wall. No windows in it.
The living room. The recliner is the farthest corner is another place I sit with the laptop. Usually if I am not feeling well and need it darker .
But I can see light from the back door. I can see out the French doors in certain places and I can see into the porch and outside. I can also see the toilet, tub and window where my recliner is.
The view from my recliner in the living room. There are bedrooms are both side it.
Yes, Laugh. I do all the time. Only I have another story to tell about that. Another house. Another BATHROOM VIEW from the living room.
Now for my favorite spot to write. The enclosed porch. There are four huge windows in here. So I can see out on 3 different sides. This shows the enclosed porch where I am , The master bedroom and bathroom. This was one of my all night writing /blogging nights. It also means that Danny is up because the bedroom and bathroom lights are on.
The front of the house. You see the enclosed porch. On the left is where I am sitting now. The other end of the enclosed porch. You can see where we just had the new drain field put in. I share the room with Mr. Bojangles. Just this past week here. We always have at least one baby born in our yard every year.
View out of the front windows.
A work day on Rolling Meadows Ranch. This was the day they brought in the swamp buggies for this PHASE of the Restoration of Rolling Meadows Ranch. The day I was suppose to go as well but I had to watch it from my windows. Where I sit. Yes, There are 2 coolers in the room. One is used as an end table. The other is /was being use as a cooler, That towel has covered that TV for weeks. Why??????? The turkey’s today. Where the drain field is. The mowed side. The TV I have only used 2x’s. Danny’s room. See all the sunlight. My area. I long for a Nice desk and a chair like Danny has. He swiped t from me. Out the enclosed porch window. All the way to the kitchen .
I can also see all the way through the kitchen and out the back door. Plus a little bit of a view out the French Doors. When I deem it necessary, I can open Danny’s computer room and see out his window.
Danny’s computer room. The sliding glass doors separates the enclosed porch and the living room. My first generation iPad. I can do a little internet blogging on it but not a lot. I love to just write in my journal on it. Listening to music sounds wonderful with it. Sitting NEXT TO IT IS A DIET PEPSI. My choice of drink. Whenever I am for long periods in the house , the work radio is close by.
When I need to…..when Danny is watching a movie…..loudly on the TV…I can SHUT the sliding glass doors and shut most of the sound out. I can still see what is going on in the rest of the house.
There have been times I have gone into the bedroom and sat at the old desk in there.
Do I still go outside? YES, When It finally is cool out. I have a chair in the front yard I often sit at .Plus 2 picnic tables to use. One where I can hook up to the house.
Where I sit in the front yard. It is usually shady there.
Before we had a washer and dryer, I would take my computer with me while I did laundry all day. At the bunkhouse.
The bunkhouse
Back then Our INTERNET WAS BETTER and it reached there. Now it is slow and it barely works outside.
So as you can tell, I am pretty flexible as to where I can and do use my computer to write.
Could I use it at Starbucks?
I could but WHY? I hate the smell of coffee. (I do like their treats and some of their chai latte drinks. Way too expensive though and I hate being in town. I would gladly go to the public library of it was closer.
I dream of nice desks and bookcase .
I would love to have the spare room (JUNK ROOM) used as my compter room. With Cabinets and a desk. Books. A comfy chair. Not the chair shown here. LOL YES, I can write just about anywhere.
Railfanning in Mulberry And Bradley Junction, Florida
It was an interesting week filled with highs and extreme lows. I knew before we left that it PROBABLY would NOT be a good idea to STAY IN A MOTEL instead of an AirBNB. We needed more SPACE. I NEEDED MORE SPACE
The motel was nice and would have fit most people’s needs. The room was average as far as size. It would have been better if I had stuck to MY PLAN and KEPT the KING SIZE ROOM with a sofa and table.
Danny sat at the only DESK/Table and blocked my going to and from the bathroom.
The bests were very comfortable. And Oh the pillows. 4 each.
After keeping me up ALL night until 2-5 AM , Danny always took a NAP after we got back to the motel. It was my quiet time.
We really needed to computer spaces.
My view from the corner. My bed was my table.
I was very glad I brought my Video player. I watched a lot of videos.
Watching a train go by from our window. It’s WHY I let Danny talk me out of the BIGGER ROOM.
We saw anywhere between 2 and 5 trains each day JUST FROM OUR WINDOW.
If it wouldn’t have been for Danny drinking A LOT EVERY NIGHT and THE HUGE FIGHTS WE HAD, I would have enjoying the motel .
I couldn’t handle his staying UP ALL NIGHT. I had nowhere to go.
The rest of the trip was AWESOME.
Watching Trains At Bradley Junction
Danny has 2 TRIPODS. One for his PHONE. One FOR HIS NEW CAMCORDER. I had three. My DSLR. My smaller Canon and a Vlogging Camera. I haven’t begun to record anything yet. Plus I took videos and photos with my phone. I haven’t done anything with any of mine yet.
I could be wrong but I believe these 2 engines were fairly NEW EMD’s. There’s another name for them. A numeral name.
Before I got too much sun. I wear sunscreen 24/7. So I never burned but I was out in it too long. The rest of the time I sat in the car. At 80 degrees -to 86, that is way too hot. T Shirt : Danny Holt On YouTube.
I ADMIT : I enjoy trying out new cafes and eating out or as the case may be….Ordering From DOOR DASH and Eating IN. We don’t have delivery near us. I didn’t share the photos from Carol’s Cafe. We ate there our first day.
More on Carol’s later.
I ate my way through MOVIE TIME.
It’s a good thing I don’t eat like this very often.
Watching Victoria. Season 1
Chalupa From Taco Bell. Left Overs from Another Mexican Restaurant And Shrimp.
Taco Bell/ Long John Silver
Seafood And FIsh Dinner with FRIES And A Chalupa. Didn’t eat much there so I took it to the motel.
Seafood And Fish. Even the fries were yummy.
Chinese Appetizers
Bean and Rice
A Wonderful Taco Salad.
Beef Tongue TACOS. Oh YEAH.
Thanks to DOOR DASH We got great delivery from all over. Outback
I was in Heaven. Rare tuna. Their famous Onion Rings. My mind went blank as to the name. LOL Fried Mushrooms
Outback Steakhouse
Bloomin Onions.
Fresh TUNA
Tuna
Watching a Video of the Durango Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad. A Christmas Gift from Danny.
Year Years Eve is always quiet on Rolling Meadows Ranch where we live.
It is USUALLY quiet at Lake Kissimmee State Park where Danny is a Park Ranger and I volunteer.
The View Out Of Our Back Door
The photo above was taken 2 weeks ago.
They were repairing DAY USE AREA.
Lake Kissimmee State Park.
Danny got home later than usual last night. The park closed at 6 PM . He didn’t get home until 7:10. It was a very quiet night after that. NO CALLS HERE.
Danny was the Ranger ON CALL.
Cheesecake. I finished the last of it NYE.
The PHONE is a HUGE PROBLEM FOR ME. HIS. Not mine. He is always texting SOMEONE.
Shrimp And Steak. Danny never had any of it.
Seafood Corn Chowder. It was so good. Danny NEVER had any and he asked for it.
I have been watching the entire Downton Abbey Series this past week.
Christmas Day. In the car . Waiting for trains that never came and a PROMISE broken. We were suppose to stay at the house we rented and have quality time. Christmas Time.
Danny had 2 bites.
Family Time :Christmas Eve.
Almost always on the computer. Too busy to talk to me. At least we were in the same room.
The view out our back door.
Our Christmas Party
DAY USE AREA Zipprer Canal Re- building the rails. Before Christmas.
Staff working frantically to finish before the weekend BEFORE CHRISTMAS.
One of our Better Evenings the past few weeks. Still a huge concern for me. Worry. Anguish. Fear. Anger. Emotional. Danny was drinking. AGAIN.
Snacks I fixed that Danny never ate.
Oyster Stew. The Weekend BEFORE Christmas. Danny asked me to make it, then Never ate it.
Rolling Meadows Ranch Our Little Piece Of heaven on earth. Acreage : Almost 6,000 acres.
Rolling Meadows Ranch Our Entrance and the beginning of our mile long dirt road. The fence needs painted.
Almost Home
Collier Farm Road
We have cows on all 4 sides at Rolling Meadows and Scrub Cows At Lake Kissimmee State Park.
Our backyard.
Our Yard
Seafood Corn Chowder
There were a few fireworks throughout the evening. It was QUIET AT MIDNIGHT.
I had an amazingly quiet and relaxing New Year’s Eve and a great beginning to 2020.
The stress was gone.
I honestly didn’t expect anything from the evening.
I was so disappointed with our Christmas Eve/Day on vacation that I decided early yesterday : NOT TO MAKE A FUSS FOR NEW YEARS EVE.
No Special Dinner Or Snacks.
We had a good dinner (We ate separately and at different times.) We had different meals.
Their were plenty of snacks all night but I just set them out.
No WORDS!
NO SARCASTIC COMMENTS!
It helped that the stress was virtually, gone. Danny is working late field this week and HAD NO WINE IN THE HOUSE. I refused to get any for him.
So no worries there.
All I asked Danny to to do was to give me his “UNDIVIDED ATTENTION” for 30 minutes last night. 15 minutes before Midnight to 15 minutes AFTER. NO TEXTING or BEING ON THE COMPUTER during that time.
I wasn’t really expecting it.
We both had a quiet night. Yes, he spent it in his computer room and I spent it in the kitchen. He did “HIS THING”and I did mine.
Except for those few moments when we had “FAMILY TIME”. The cat even got a special MIDNIGHT TREAT.
Danny surprised me at 11: 42 PM . Or thereabouts. He actually came INTO THE KITCHEN and SAT DOWN. NO PHONE IN HAND.
That alone was an accomplishment.
NO PHONE.
NO DISTRACTIONS!
OK, my phone went off….BUT Mine were family. Remembering how lonely I get at MIDNIGHT ON HOLIDAYS.
(Bobby use to call exactly at MIDNIGHT: if he wasn’t with me.)
I didn’t answer the calls or the texts til after Danny left.
I wasn’t lonely last night.
OK, I was but not as lonely.
Danny KISSED ME.
Really KISSED ME.
WITHOUT ASKING.
It had been MONTHS.
Well, he walked up to me and he asked me if I wanted to dance
He looked kinda nice and so I said I might take a chance
When he danced he held me tight
And when he walked me home that night
All the stars were shining bright
And then he kissed me
Each time I saw him I couldn’t wait to see him again
I wanted to let him know that he was more than a friend
I didn’t know just what to do
So I whispered I love you
He said that he loved me too
And then he kissed me
He kissed me in a way that I’ve never been kissed before
He kissed me in a way that I want to be kissed forevermore
I knew that he was mine so I gave him all the love that I had
And one day he took me home to meet his mom and his dad…
I didn’t even listen to AULD LANG SYNE until 12:20 AM It has to be Guy Lomardo’s version.
I really love this version though.
Auld Lang Syne Dougie MacLean version (With Lyrics and English Translation)
Should old acquaintance be forgot
…
And never brought to mind
Should all acquaintance be forgot
…
And auld lang syne
…
For auld lang syne, my dear
…
For auld lang syne
…
We’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet
…
For auld lang syne
…
And surely you will buy your cup
And surely I’ll buy mine
…
And we’ll take a cup o’kindness yet
…
For auld lang syne
…
We too have run around the slopes
And picked the daisies fine
…
We’ve wondered many weary foot
…
Since auld lang syne
…
For auld lang syne, my dear
…
For auld lang syne
…
We’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet
…
For auld lang syne
…
We too have paddled in the stream
…
From morning sun to night
…
But the seas between us broad have roared
…
From auld lang syne
For auld lang syne, my dear
…
For auld lang syne
…
We’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet
…
For auld lang syne
We’ll take a cup o’kindness yet
…
For auld lang syne
…
